


The Queens Secret

by MedievalEnchanted



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Depression, F/F, Past Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Sexual Abuse, Past Violence, Rape, Self Harm, Self-Hatred, Sexual Assault, Triggers, swanqueen - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2020-10-24
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:27:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 14
Words: 31,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27127192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MedievalEnchanted/pseuds/MedievalEnchanted
Summary: Set around Season 1 / Season 2. Emma and Regina aren't together. / Okay so after Emma gets a concerning phone call from the mayor she rushed over to the mansion to find Regina blacked out on the bed laying in a pool of her own blood. *Trigger Warning* Self Harm and Severe depression themes.
Relationships: Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Emma Swan, Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Leopold
Comments: 15
Kudos: 69





	1. What dreams are about

**Author's Note:**

> So I wanted to do this for a while, I really hope you like it, I myself have struggled with self harm, 5 years clean back in June! But I think even in fanfics it's really important to spread awarness for mental health in anyway you can.
> 
> As always please leave reviews and if you want to send prompts send them to me on tumblr at Parrilla-My-SwanQueen
> 
> I hope you like it!

Regina lay in her underwear staring up at the ceiling. It was 3am, the same time she woke up every night after having one of her night terrors. Leopold. It's always Leopold, the way he always smiled at her, it made her feel sick, it took the breath right out of her. The night of their wedding, it was the way he ripped off her clothes, and stripped her naked, the way he held her down so tight she couldn't move or breathe. All she heard was her heart beating, she tried screaming, but no one would hear or if they did they wouldn't help her, they wouldn't disobey their king.

The next thing Regina knew the king was forcing himself inside her whilst she lay there as still as possible, fearing to move, crying and trying to scream out in pain as he choked her.

She couldn't escape it. 

Him she couldn't escape him. 

Every single night, but this time the dream became so intense that she fell out of the bed knocking over the lamp on her table.

"Fuck." Regina whispered as she realized what had happened.

She picked herself up from the floor, and took herself back into bed looking at the clock.

3am. again. 

Regina pulled the covers over her as she lay stiffly in the bed looking at the ceiling. She tried to ignore that nagging feeling. _No, I won't do it again._ That's what she kept trying to tell herself, she wouldn't. What if Henry finds out or worse Emma. His birth mother what if she finds out. No, I can't take the chance. Regina tried for a whole hour trying to convince herself and talk herself out of doing it, but the pain and the anguish from the flashbacks and night terrors became too much to bare.

Regina sat up abruptly, throwing off the covers and reaching to her night stand where her phone sat. The brunette hesitated a moment,before grabbing her mobile phone she held it over the bed and took off the phone case, two small pieces of metal landed softly on the bed. Regina set the phone and the case back down on the nightstand.

The brunette sat crossed legged on her bed for a moment looking at the two pieces of metal sitting in front of her. she picked up one holding out her arm, and placing the blade on her wrist, just before she was about to press down she stopped, taking the blade away from her skin.

_You idiot Regina. You're Mayor, if you do it there, someone might see._

Regina looked from her stomach to the top of her thighs. The brunette smiled sadly before thinking, 

_There I can do it there._

The mayor looked to her stomach, she needed to feel this, feel something. She forgot the pain Leopold caused her, the pain her mother caused her. She forgot about everything as she pushed the metal blade down on her skin, at first she dragged it across her bare skin slowly, but with each cut they got quicker and deeper. She cut her stomach four times, and on each thigh, she did three deep cuts. Blood started to fall out each cut, flowing slowly down her stomach and legs. Regina put her head back on the pillow, still holding the blade in her hand.

Finally I can feel something. I can feel real pain. pain I deserve. Regina whispered to herself as everything began to spin, everything was blurry.

"Shit." Regina whispered as she realized what was happening.

The blood was dripping off the side of the Mayors bed.

"Oh god." Regina couldn't think or feel anything, all she knew was that any moment now she was going to go to sleep and she didn't know if she'd wake up. 

Regina reached across and in a slow movement she took her phone into her hand. It was impossible to do it quickly, and she managed to unlock her phone. The brunette didn't call Henry or Katherine, No she rang the person, that most people of storybrooke would least expect, in fact Regina didn't expect herself to do this either however when she thought about Henry and the thought of leaving him...she knew, she just knew she had to call for help or maybe it was the fact that Regina trusted Emma more than anyone else. She had no idea why but she just did. Regina knew she could trust the sheriff.

The brunette put on the voice dial before whispering into the phone "Call...Em...Swan..." the phone rang not for thirty seconds before the sleepy voice at the other end answered.

"Madam Mayor, What can I do for you at this delightful hour?" You could hear the aggravation in the blonde's voice.

"Em...ma..." Regina replied, she was becoming more weak by the moment

"Madam Mayor? are you okay?" Emma knew something wasn't right.

"I did something bad..." Regina trailed off as she looked over towards the bathroom thinking she could get there, but it was too late everything went black and the phone and blade fell from Regina's hand landing hard on the floor as the blood continued to drip down the side of the bed.

"Regina?" Emma asked not caring if the high and almighty madam mayor became annoyed at her calling her Regina.

Emma was really quite concerned when there was no response from Regina, her gut told her something was wrong and when the phone line went dead, she knew she was right.

The blonde jumped out of bed, grabbing a pair of jeans, pulling them up and she pulled a white tank top over her head as quickly as she could, Emma slid on her boots and Red leather Jacket, running into the kitchen and snatching up her keys from the counter she rushed out the house and sped away in the bug to the mayor's mansion.

The door was already open as she arrived presumably Regina had opened it, even so she pulled out her gun to be on the safe side.

"Regina? Regina?" The sheriff bellowed through the mansion. No answer came. As Emma reached the mayor's room, she opened the door slowly, the door made a horrible squeaking sound.

"Regina?" Emma asked until her eyes met the fallen phone and blade, she walked in and the sight got worse, the blood was dripping hard off the side of the bed.

The blonde looked up with fear in her eyes seeing Regina laying there on the bed in nothing but her bra and underwear, she was limp, out cold, with her stomach and the top of her thighs showing deep self inflicted cuts and the mayor was completely covered in blood.

"Oh god. Regina! What did you do!" Emma whispered in a panic, and she placed her gun back in its holder on her hip and ran to the still brunette on the bed.

"Regina wake up! Wake up!" Emma held Regina's shoulders and started shaking her.

There was no denying that Emma was in love with the mayor and that the mayor was just as in love with Emma, everyone saw it, except the two that it mattered to the most, which is why when Emma saw Regina in a pool of her own blood she felt like all the air had escaped her lungs, she thought she was going to lose the person she loved the most, she loved her even more than Henry.

Emma didn't realize quite how much until she saw how broken the beautiful Mayor was. 

Always seeming so strong putting up a front...just like her.


	2. Is this love?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Emma found Regina on the bed bleeding out, she helps Regina. She cleans the mayor up making sure she's okay. She cares for her, which is so unexpected from both sides, but more for Regina, she doesn't think she deserves love but Emma would disagree with that statement entirely.

Emma held Regina's head between her hands as she screamed at her "Regina wake up! Come on! Don't you dare die on me!" The sheriff then scooped up the Mayor into her arms, holding her tight and carrying her into the bathroom and closing the bathroom door behind her.

Emma sat Regina up against the door, and she went to the sink taking a flannel that was on the side of the basin and ran it under the cold tap before squeezing the water out. Emma then kneeled next to the fragile brunette and dabbed the flannel on her cuts which woke Regina up slowly, although she wasn't quite with it.

Regina suddenly felt something cold on her stomach.  _ It hurt, it stung. Was she in a dream, or another flashback. _ She couldn't quite work out what it was until she opened one eye and saw the blonde curls of the sheriff sitting next to her.

_ Shit. Did I call her? _ Regina questioned in a slight panic before remembering that she did in fact phone Henry’s birth mother.  _ Oh God. _

"Emma?" Regina croaked.

The blonde looked up to see the mayor was awake, only just but she was awake and that was the important thing in this moment in time. "Thank god." Emma smiled as she moved the cold flannel down to Regina's thighs.

"Em...Emma... what are you doing?" Regina frowned.

"Helping." Emma stated as she carried on.

"It hurts." The brunette whimpered clutching onto Emma's shoulder, half expecting her to say that it was her own fault. She deserved it, after all she did it to herself.

"It's okay Regina, It will be over in a moment, but I need to make sure that these don't get infected and then I'm going to stitch you up okay?"

Regina looked down at the blonde  _ What was that? care. love. No it can't be, oh but it was. _

"It's okay Regina. You're going to be okay I promise." Emma stood up and washed out the flannel, putting it in the sink before reaching into the cupboard and taking out the first aid kit.

Before Emma could even sit down Regina let out a worried "Please don't tell anyone."

The blonde looked at the fear in her eyes and kneeled down beside her sitting the first aid kit beside her. "Oh Regina. You can trust me, I am not going to tell a soul I promise." Emma smiled, lifting Regina's face so her face was looking at her.

Regina's eyes began to well up with tears, and as they fell Emma smiled sadly "Look at me, you will be okay, I'm not going to let anything bad happen to you... Now let's get you stitched up."

Before Emma started the stitches she made sure to sterilize everything thoroughly , and numbed the area where she was about to stick the needle to start the stitches.

"Hold still Regina." But as Emma looped the first stitch Regina blacked out again.

_ Emma you can do this, gently does it _ , the blonde whispered to herself with each stitch, all in all it took a good thirty minutes and she tied off the last stitch. Emma then took out some butterfly band aids, putting them over the brunette's wounds, as she did the last one she looked up at the passed out, fragile, mayor and kissed her thigh where she had just placed the last band aid.

Emma put everything back in the first aid box putting the kit back where she found it, the blonde then kneeled beside Regina who still hadn't come back round.

"Regina?" Emma asked, putting her fingers through her hair.

"Regina?" there was nothing, so Emma moved Regina on to the toilet seat making sure the lid was down. Emma then walked out into Regina's bedroom removing all her bedding and putting it in the corner of the room. 

Luckily the blood hadn't seeped through to the mattress just yet. She took out some clean bedding and made Regina's bed, and moved the covers back slightly so she would be able to put Regina into bed without worrying about taking off the covers beforehand.

Emma heard a scared croak coming from the bathroom. 

"Emma!?" Regina panicked, she almost thought it was a dream that the blonde had helped her.

_ A fairy tale perhaps? _

Well that’s what she thought until Emma came running back through holding clean underwear and a clean bra.

"It's okay Regina, I'm right here."

"I...I...I thought you left me." The brunette trembled with a real fear in her voice.

"I'm not leaving you. Now can you take your underwear and bra off so you can put clean ones on."

"I am not stripping in front of you."

"Regina now is not the time for modesty. Both your bra and underwear are soaked in **your** blood, I have just changed your bedding. Now Strip. I won't ask you twice" Emma said firmly.

Regina let the words ring in her ears. ‘ _ I have just changed your bedding.’ _ Regina couldn't fathom it.  _ Maybe she does care about me after all... but No, I'm the Evil Queen No one could ever love me.  _ Regina looked up at the blonde sadly and tried not to wince from the pain "I can't."

"You can't or you won't?" Emma asked seriously

"I. can't." Regina gave Emma a death glare. "It hurts to move."

"Okay well you're going to have to get over yourself and let me help you."

Regina just nodded as Emma pulled Regina's underwear off, putting them behind her and helping the mayor into some clean ones, she then did the same thing with her bra.

"Not so bad now was it?"

“I suppose not.” Regina said quietly and Emma picked up the mayor's blood stained underwear and bra throwing them Into the dirty wash bin in the corner of the bathroom and turned back to the Mayor who was quite obviously in pain but putting on a brave face, Emma gave her a gentle smile as she placed a comforting hand on her knee.

"Now, Regina, you're going to put your arms around my neck so I can carry to the bedroom. Don't argue about it just do it please" Emma said with a smile.

"I am perfectly capable of walking Miss. Swan."

"Well, Madam mayor I'd have to disagree, you could have died today."

Regina nodded in ashamed silence as she wrapped her arms around Emma's neck holding on for dear life, refusing to let go.  **She felt safe.** In the arms of the sheriff  **she felt safe.** Emma then scooped her up into her arms carrying her through to the bedroom.

Emma lay the mayor down on her bed, which now had fresh sheets. Once Regina was as settled as she could be, Emma pulled the covers over her, tucking her in just like she does with their son.

Emma moved her hand towards Regina's face which made her flinch.

"It's alright, I'm not going to hurt you Regina. trust me." Emma smiled. 

She saw the okay, in the mayor's chocolate brown eyes, with that she moved her hand on to Regina’s face and tucked her hair behind her ear. Regina didn't understand what was happening, oh but she did, she knew exactly what was happening, she knew how she felt and how Emma felt but neither were brave enough to say anything. 

Presides what if she was wrong. What if Emma didn't love her like she loved the blonde, Regina didn't want to take the risk, didn't want to feel the heart break she once felt ever again.

Then she thought  _ Emma wouldn't be caring for me like this, or helping me get changed, or soothing me if she didn't care, even if it's just a little bit. I should say something. No I can't. _

So Regina kept her mouth shut refusing to spill her feelings to the blonde who was smiling at Regina.

"I'm going to light a candle. It will help you relax, and maybe help you to sleep." Emma told her as she walked over to the chest of drawers just to the left side of the bedroom door.

"The one of the left." Regina whispered and Emma opened it taking out a candle that was in its glass container.

"Vanilla & Apple. looks nice." Emma smiled, closing the drawer and putting the candle on the nightstand next to Regina.

"Matches?"

"The drawer on the right." 

Emma walked back and took out the matches, she came back over to Regina kneeling in front of the candle, lighting it and blowing out the match before throwing it in the bin.

"Let that burn, Regina. It will help I promise, it will take away all your bad thoughts and dreams." 

Regina nodded closing her eyes, she could feel Emma smiling down at her as she ran her fingers through her hair. However when Emma stopped Regina felt uncomfortable and she heard her bedroom door squeak, she suddenly realized Emma was leaving . She didn't want her to leave, she's been so kind to her, cared for her when she could’ve left her to die. She didn't.

Regina couldn't understand why the wavy haired blonde sheriff was being so nice to her, after all Regina had tried to poison her, and kill her multiple times. Why would she show any kind of kindness and love towards her? Emma opened the door of Regina's bedroom, she was only going to go downstairs and sleep on the couch, she didn't trust Regina to leave her on her own.

Emma then heard Regina's soft trembling voice.

"Wait... Emma?" Regina looked over making Emma stop and turn around walking back to Regina

"What is it?" Regina pulled the covers tighter over her shoulders

"Can you...umm... well if it's uhh...if-" Regina didn't need to finished her sentence for Emma to know what she needed, as she smiled down at the brunette.

"Want me to stay in here with you?" 

The mayor just nodded with a faint smile.

"Okay. close your eyes and I'll get in next to you." Emma walked round the other side of the bed, putting her gun on the nightstand, on her side, she dropped her pants and took off her red leather jacket throwing it over the chair in the corner, but keeping on her tank top. She looked at the sleepy brunette with complete and pure happiness.

"I love her." Emma whispered not meaning to say it aloud, her heart pounded until she realized Regina didn't reply, she thought maybe she was lucky or unlucky and Regina just didn't hear her. Emma slid in beside Regina pulling the covers over them both and wrapping her arms around Regina's body gently.

Regina felt Emma's warm hands touch her cold stomach, she felt happy, and again she asked herself  _ Why is Henry's birth mother making me happy? Why is her touch making my body tingle head to toe? Just why? _

The mayor then smiled, remembering what Emma had just whispered before getting into bed.  **_She loves me._ ** Regina just let her eyes close, as they became heavy and feeling Emma's body pressed up against hers, she knew she was safe and she knew nothing bad would happen to her, she let Emma hold her and to be perfectly honest she didn't want her to let go. Ever.


	3. Real feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Regina's bad night, Emma decides to stay the weekend not trusting to leave Regina on her own... Emma checks Regina's stitches before helping her into the bath, it's this moment where Regina is in pain Emma decide's to help the mayor take her mind of the pain by talking about something different. One thing leads to another and something Regina has waited for a year to happen. Well it happens.

Regina woke up still feeling the touch of Emma's hands on her stomach, it felt like a dream. Maybe it was, maybe she was still dreaming, that's what it felt like until she heard Emma's voice speaking her name. Regina didn't answer, she pretended to still be asleep just for a bit longer, she knew what was waiting for her when she woke up properly. 

The Questions. The ‘ **she's crazy’** the  **‘she's an unfit parent’** and much more. Regina felt safe but it didn't mean she wasn't any less scared... of the questions that were about to come flying her way.

Emma glanced over at the clock on the nightstand. 9am on a Saturday, she's usually being woken up by Henry at 7am. 

David was doing the weekend shift at the sheriff station.

Emma sat up reaching over the side of the bed and attaining her pants in her hand, she took her phone out her back pocket before dropping her pants back on the floor. Emma dialed a number into the phone and put her phone to her ear.

A delicate voice answered the phone "Hello?"

"Hi Mary-Margret it's Emma."

"Oh Hi Emma. Are you coming back tonight?"

"Umm no, I don't think so, but could you do me a favor? Could you drop off a change of clothes for me at the mayor's house oh and bring breakfast. You know I can't cook and could you also look after Henry for the weekend. I just have some things to sort out."

"Right...? Things." Mary-Margret knew Emma was with Regina, she thought maybe they've finally told each other, she didn't really care as long as they stopped making everyone else miserable just because they couldn't admit their damn feelings..

"Well, You obviously don't want to tell me what's really going on, but yes I can take care of Henry, I'll be round in twenty minutes." 

Emma hung up the phone smiling, before turning back to look at Regina and stroking her hair out her face. "Hey sleepy head."

Regina looked up and the blonde hovering above her head. 

So it wasn't a dream. Regina was happy it wasn't. "Hey." Regina replied.

"I'd like to check your wounds after breakfast if that's okay?" 

Regina nodded before closing her eyes again.

"I'll come wake you up in 30 minutes." Emma smiled and dragged her own ass out of bed, had a quick shower before stepping out and she then leaned against the bathroom door wearing nothing but her underwear and a white tank top looking over at Regina sleeping, thinking how adorable the mayor looked in this state, when suddenly the doorbell rang.

Emma flew down the stairs and opened the door to see Mary-Margret standing there with breakfast, a change of clothes and Henry.

"He Momma!" Henry threw himself at Emma.

"Uhh Hey...hey Kid? What are you doing here?" Emma frowned, hugging Henry and looking at her mother.

"He needed to grab some clothes. Henry go and grab the clothes you need." Mary-Margret said.

Henry nodded at his grandmother before running up to his room, with his back pack in hand.

"Seriously!"Emma whispered in frustration.

"What? he needed clothes." Mary-Margret replied innocently.

"Couldn't you have warned me or something? Regina is upstairs sleeping and I don't want anything or anyone disturbing her." 

Mary-Margret's face just scrunched up.

"Did you do it?" 

Emma chuckled slightly at the insinuation.

"With the mayor? No. and I won't tell you what happened so stop asking because I know what you're like with secrets." The pale woman just scowled at her daughter before passing her the box of food and the small bag with a change of clothes.

"I put three different outfits in there. just in case." 

Emma just set the bag down on the couch before walking through to the kitchen and taking the food out the box, but leaving it in the wrappers.

"Thanks for doing this."

"No worries." Mary-Margret smiled slightly, and they both walked back out of the kitchen in an awkward silence.

Emma then yelled up the stairs "HENRY! HURRY UP! TIME TO GO KID!" and like a flash of light Henry bolted down the stairs running right into Emma, almost pushing them both to the ground. Thank goodness Emma had good balance and she caught Henry before they both went flying.

"Sorry." Henry smiled sheepishly. "See you Monday Momma." 

Emma smiled as she scuffed up his hair and watched him leave with Mary-Margret hugging them both before they left. "Love you guys have a good weekend."

"We will!" Henry shouted in return.

Emma took the food upstairs sitting it next to Regina, Emma sat herself on the edge of the bed next to the mayor as she watched her sleep. "Regina? Regina? Can you wake up for me?" Emma asked as she held Regina's face in the palm of her hand.

"I'm awake." Regina stated in her sleepiness but still sounding like the Madam Mayor that Emma had met when Henry had brought her to storybrooke.

"Can you sit up for me so I can check those stitches?" Now Regina was more with it than she was last night.

She sat up and took the covers off and looked over to the night stand beside her seeing the food.

"Is that for me?" Regina questioned.

Emma looked at Regina and smiled "Yes. I know how you often forget to eat."

Regina took the food, unwrapping it as she shifted slightly to the edge of the bed, so that from her knees down, they were dangling over the side. 

Emma kneeled in front of the beautiful brunette as she ate, and checked her handy work from last night. As Emma finished checking the wounds she looked up at Regina who had finished her breakfast, placing the wrapper on the night stand beside her. The blonde saw Regina frowning half in pain, half something else. Emma stood up and sat beside Regina. 

Emma looked into Regina's eyes as she scraped the hair out of her face, trying to see what she wanted to ask, but she didn't need to look anymore, for Regina asked the question that was on her mind.

"Emma? Why are you being so nice to me? I've done nothing but torture you."

Emma smiled at the woman sitting beside her. Maybe Regina didn't feel the same, maybe she did, but was that a risk she could take? Maybe a half truth would be better than no truth at all. It was decided.

"Because I care about you Regina." Emma didn't think she would say it but she did the words came out before she could stop herself however she did stop herself from spilling everything else she felt about Regina. The way she loves it when Regina looks at their son, the way she smiles, the way she walks, the way she talks, the way she fights for those she loves no matter the cost. Even the evil side. She loves that too.

"You scared the hell out of me Regina. I need you to know I care...I really do care about you."

Regina looked down as she bit her lip smiling. Which made the blonde's body go into overdrive, it made Emma's body tingle and her tummy fill with butterflies.

"Look at me." Emma lifted Regina's head before asking her "Why?"

And there it was. The questions. Regina's smile went away in an instant.

"Because...because it's my business." Regina replied, closing up again quickly.

Emma realized maybe it was too soon to press her, but she would get it out of her one way or another.

Regina looked back up at the blonde realising what she had just told her "Wait - You care about me?" Regina asked, not entirely sure if she had heard right.

Emma just laughed gently as she cupped Regina's face "Yes and not just as Henry's mother who has done an incredible job raising our son, but as the beautiful woman who is starting to change, but still won't ask for help even when she so desperately needs it." Emma smiled sadly as she took her hand away and stood up walking into the bathroom.

She arrived at the door way but then stopped to turn round and to look over at Regina, leaning against the door frame.

"I do not need help Miss. Swan" 

Emma scoffed at that statement "Regina I think we're well past the 'Miss. Swan's' don't you?"

"Fine. Em-ma. I do  **not** need help."

"Okay." Emma laughed.

Emma turned her back on Regina as she walked into the bathroom and started to run her a bath.

"What are you doing Emma?" Regina asked as she heard the bath water turn on.

"What's it sound like? I'm running a bath."

"For who?" Emma sighed hearing the slight worry in Regina's voice and she walked out to her and kneeled down in front of the mayor, placing one hand on her knee. "For you Regina, we need to soak the wounds, and it will do you good to relax."

Before Regina even knew what she was saying the words just came right out..

"Will you help me? Will you stay with me?" Regina asked in a slight panic that Emma would leave just like everyone else has.

Emma smiled "Of course. I'm not leaving, I'm staying all weekend or until you want me to leave, okay?" 

Regina simply nodded.

Emma went to check on the now full bath, she turned off the taps before going back to Regina. "Do you want to put your arm around me so I can help you walk to the bath?"

Regina nodded and she put her arm around Emma's neck, she winced as the blonde helped her to stand up. Emma held Regina's hand to keep her balanced and then she put her other arm around Regina's waist and walked her to the bathroom, sitting her on the edge of the bath.

"You okay? Emma asked as she kneeled in front of Regina again and pulled down The mayor's underwear, and took off her bra.

"I'm fine." Regina lied as Emma stood up and helped Regina into the bath.

"There we are, just relax, I'm staying right here I promise."

Emma grabbed the chair from the corner of the bathroom and sat it right next to the bath so she could keep an eye on Regina. She didn't care that the mayor of storybrooke was naked and laying in the bath, and the mayor didn't seem to care that the sheriff was seeing her naked body. She was in too much pain to care. Emma could quite clearly see that Regina was hurting, the water was making her wounds sting badly. Emma reached out her hand for Regina to take, which Regina grabbed as if her life depended on it.

"Emma I need to get out."

"Regina you need to stay in and just let the water soak your wounds, it's important." Regina squeezed Emma's hand.

"Regina...Regina...too much squeezing." Emma gasped as Regina stopped.

"Sorry."

"It's okay..." Emma paused for a moment and then asked Regina something that would maybe help them both, not that she realized it when she asked the brunette.

"Hey, why don't we talk about something to take your mind off the pain?" 

Regina nodded as she felt the stinging slowly lessen.

"What do you want to talk about?" Regina panted, letting the pain dye down.

"Us. I want to talk about us."

Whilst Regina soaked in the tub and heard Emma say she wanted to talk about them, Regina had a sudden rush of adrenaline, but still she stayed composed, or as composed as she could be in a bathtub naked, with the sheriff sitting right beside her.

"Okay...What about us?" Regina asked sort of hoping that she would say it and at the same time hoping she wouldn't say it. How could she let someone love her when all she does is hurt herself, and hurt them. Regina didn't want to burden someone else with her mess of a life.

"Oh come on Regina. Did you forget about my superpower?"

"That's to tell if someone's lying not to-"

"Tell if someone has feelings for me?" Emma cut in, making Regina go the color of a tomato and in the fashion of the mayor she sat up glaring at Emma

"You're insane."

"Am I?" Emma asked

"Regina it's okay if you do because the truth is...the truth is..." 

Regina frowned, still holding tight to Emma's hand. "Miss. Swan? The truth is what?"

"Regina...How much blood did you lose? Do you really not see it?" Regina stared at the sheriff blankly all whilst feeling a rush of emotions inside her.

"See what Emma?"

"Oh my god Regina. Idiot much. I am so fucking in love with you."

**Idiot much. I am so fucking in love with you.**

Regina smiled at both Emma calling her an idiot and telling her she loved her, now it was Regina's turn. The mayor looked up at the blonde with the biggest smile you had ever seen spread across her face.

"Do you feel the same Regina or have I been reading the signals all wrong?" Emma asked, not overly sure, even if Regina had a massive smile on her face, she still wasn't too sure. Regina started squeezing Emma's hand again as the pain started up on her thighs and stomach.

"Hey, hey Regina. It's okay just-"

Through Regina's slow breathing she smiled at Emma gently

"Kiss me." Regina insisted

"What?" Emma asked in confusion.

"God damn it Miss. Swan. Just fucking kiss me! I've waited for this for a whole year, Kiss me now or so help-"

Emma shut the mayor up by doing as she asked, she didn't need to be told a third time, she leaned in, placing her lips against Regina's kissing her slowly and placing her spare hand on the side of Regina's face.

The kiss was slow, gentle but passionate all at the same time. The kiss must of lasted a good minute or so before Emma broke the kiss

"You've waited for that for a year?" Emma arched her eyebrow.

"Shut up Emma." Regina smirked biting her lip, Emma Swan had just kissed her, they both admitted how they felt and everything felt right.

Emma couldn't help but smile, everything had just fallen into place, the reasons why there was always so much tension between the two, why she always became more angry than everyone else with the mayor. Why she felt tingles through her whole body whenever Regina came close to her and why she felt butterflies every time she saw her.

Everything finally made sense. Everything was right in the world.

Emma Swan was in love with the mayor - Regina Mills and she no longer needed to pretend that, that wasn't the truth. Emma hadn't felt like this about anyone before, she sat with Regina holding her hand, letting everything be still and quiet and perfect. The world right at this precise moment, even though Regina had hurt herself, this very moment it was perfect.

  
  



	4. Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina let's down her walls, and opens up to Emma about what's really going on. And she takes the step to trust Emma which is something she will be happy she did!

Emma managed to get Regina out the bath wrapping her in a towel and changing her into some comfy clothes. She even managed to make lunch. Grilled cheese was the only thing she could make, she had sat Regina on the couch and threw a blanket over her whilst she made their lunch, she also poured a glass of water and made Regina drink it. 

Emma came over pulling the blanket over her own legs and shared a plate of 2 grilled cheeses with Regina. Emma instantly started munching on hers making some very peculiar noises as she ate, which Regina was trying hard not to laugh at.

"Do you always make this much noise when you eat dear?"

Emma looked at the brunette and moved her hand over her mouth as she continued eating "Sorry, grilled cheese is my favorite."

"I gathered."

Regina looked at her own piece of food poking and prodding at it, which Emma caught.

"What? Don't like grilled cheese?"

"No I just I umm, I've never had one before." Regina replied holding the grilled cheese in her perfectly manicured hands.

Emma chuckled "Well you're not going to know if you like it Madam mayor, not until you try it. Go on, take a bite."

Regina looked at the grilled cheese in her hand and did as Emma said "Mmm." Regina smiled with surprise, covering her mouth with her left hand "Not bad."

When they both finished their grilled cheeses, Emma took the plate back into the kitchen placing it on the side and then walking back, sitting on the couch.

Emma patted her lap "lay down."

Regina looked at Emma like she was crazy.

"Regina, come on. I won't bite. promise."

Regina still couldn't get her head round why anyone, especially the saviour would care for her. But hey ho, she did as she was told and they were together and that was the important thing. Regina laid her head on Emma's lap, Emma pulled the blanket over her girlfriend's body and she began to stroke the side of her face.

Regina knew what was coming next.

The Questions.

Emma was making her comfortable so she could ask her all the questions, the very same questions in which Regina was doing everything she could do to avoid answering.

"Regina?"

"Yes?" Regina mumbled.

"What's going on? Please talk to me." 

Regina stayed silent.

"Regina please... I'm worried about you... Gina..."

Regina didn't say anything. She couldn't.

"Well something is going on with you."

"What do you mean?" Regina replied pretending to be oblivious.

"What do I- What do I mean?"

Regina nodded.

"Regina just last night I rushed over here, after your very worrying phone call. I had a right to be worried, as I found you on your bed bleeding out after you cut yourself multiple times."

At that Regina sat up "I can't."

Both Regina and Emma positioned themselves opposite each other on the couch, crossing their legs and so their knees were touching. 

Regina's tears started to fall and Emma lifted the brunette's head up "Hey...hey...It's okay."

"What I tell you Em, it could mean you leaving me, it could scare you off. It might make you stop caring or loving me -” Regina cried.

"No look at me Regina, I am not leaving you. There is nothing that you can say or do that will make me run. I promise you that."

Regina stood up from the couch and started pacing the room "What if you hate me?"

Emma sat up frowning at Regina, who had her arms folded and her back was turned on Emma.

"Emma what if you hate me?" Regina asked again.

"I won't."

"How do you know?" Regina asked trying to hold in her tears with everything she had

"Because my love, I know what you did as the Evil Queen, Hell you tried to poison me with your apples. I know you're changing but I also know what you're capable of and who you were, and maybe still are. but that doesn't stop me from being madly in love with you Regina." A smile crept over Regina's face before she was bought back to reality.

"What is it? what's going on with you?"

Regina stood frozen on the other side of the room with her back still turned on Emma.

"I presume you know who Leopold is?"

"Of course. He's the one you were forced into a marriage with... right?"

"Right." Regina stated as she turned round facing the blonde and had began crying.

Emma rushed over to Regina "What did he do to you?"

"I can't, I can't."

"Regina, I told you nothing would scare me off. Nothing. Trust me, let me your walls down and please just let me in." Emma spoke gently, almost in a whisper.

"My thoughts have become pretty dark Em, especially because of what he did."

"What do you mean?" 

Once again Regina didn't say anything. Regina fell into Emma's arms, crying uncontrollably "He raped me." she managed to get out through her cries and Emma's heart just dropped to the ground.

She rubbed circles on the brunette's back soothing her and holding her tight, refusing to let her go.

"I can barely sleep because every time I close my eyes I see him and I can feel him on top of me and holding me down, every night of the marriage to Leopold he did it to me. I screamed so loud Emma, so loud but no one ever helped. Why did no one help... Emma no one helped me!" Regina screamed as Emma held her, her own heart breaking for the woman she loved.

Emma took them both back over onto the couch pulling the blanket over them both, Emma lay on her side with Regina next to her.

Regina cried and cried and cried. "Regina, talk to me, don't bottle it up talk to me."

Regina choked on her sobs "Even during the day, the flash backs, I don't even know what sets them off I mean why do you think you found me huddled on the kitchen floor last week?"

"You like to hug floors?" Emma teased trying to lighten the mood but evidently failing 

"Em..."

"Okay I have an idea Regina,"

Emma sat herself up and moved Regina so the brunette's head was on her lap.

"You don't want to talk about it...listen how about I ask you some questions and the only rule is you have to tell the truth."

"I think I could do that." Regina replied with Emma stroking the side of her face.

"Let's start with something I already know you're doing." Regina nodded knowing exactly what she meant.

"How long? How long have you been hurting yourself?"

"A while." Regina was vague with her answer.

"Regina..."

"Okay fine, twelve years, three months and eight days."

Emma wasn't at all surprised that Regina knew the exact length of time, you see Emma had this friend when she was younger. Her name was Lily, she was her best friend and also her ex-girlfriend. She would do What Regina is doing, that's how Emma knows how to deal with this situation.

"Okay and is it just cutting?" Regina felt her anxiety rising, she wanted to stop talking about it but she also felt the need to talk to Emma.

"No but..." Regina was trying to be proactive in her explanation.

"But what?"

The very fragile looking mayor took a deep breath "But it is mostly cutting."

Emma smiled at Regina, she was trying and that was the important thing.

"Okay, babe, can you sit up for me?"

Regina nodded as she sat up and hugged her knees into her chest

"You mentioned having some pretty dark thoughts?"

Regina placed her chin on top of her knees not wanting to admit it but she did anyway. "Yes."

"How dark? Do you... do you want to die?"

"Every day." The brunette whispered.

"Regina? have you ever blacked out before from the cutting?"

"Yeah a few times." Regina looked at Emma before saying "You're going to leave me aren't you?" and the tears fell from the chocolate eyes of the mayor.

Emma kissed Regina's head and held her head in her hands. "Look at me, my love. I am never leaving you. I am going to do what I can to protect you. Talk to me... I saw the look in your eyes when I asked about your dark thoughts. Tell me..."

"How do you do that?"

"Intuition."

Regina sighed with a tremble as she answered "Fine...It's more than just dark thoughts, night terrors and flashback. I hate myself, I hate who, realistically my mother turned me into."

Emma stayed silent because for the first time Regina was talking of her own free will and talking out how she felt and everything she thought about and laying it all down on the table.

"My heart feels heavy, I want to scream, and yell and shout and cry. How I feel Emma... every day is a nightmare, torture. It's like I'm screaming but no one can hear me, just like it was with him for all those nights. Even now, every time I have a flashback or night terrors because of him, I literally want to scratch or cut my skin off. I feel dirty. disgusting. pathetic. worthless. Why would anyone ever love me? Every single day, I think to myself. Today will be the day that I will go."

"Go?" Emma questioned before realizing what Regina meant.

"Emma... I am not safe to be left by myself, not with how I feel, because if you walk out that door you will come back to find me, not breathing."

"I'm not leaving." Emma stated with warmth in her voice.

Regina didn't dare look Emma in the eye, she just began crying.

"All I want is..."

"You can tell me, I won't leave I promise. You just have to trust me." the blonde soothed

"I do trust you. I want to die Emma. No one will ever forgive me for what I have done for all those years as the evil queen. Everyone hates me and to be perfectly honest, I don't blame them because I hate me too."

"Henry loves you. Regina, I love you." 

Regina chuckled "No, Henry does not love me. He loves you but not me, to him I am still a villain. But you, I know you do love me. and if one person loves me, then that's enough."

Emma stood up folding her arms and frowning to Regina. "Tell me something?"

"Anything." Regina replied honestly.

"No Regina, I mean it you have to tell me the truth no matter how scared you become."

"I...I promise." 

Emma held her breath as she asked her vulnerable girlfriend. "Did you try to kill yourself last night?"

"WHAT?! N-" Regina started in a scream.

"For once in your life will you tell me the truth Regina. I care about you, and I won't run. I love you I just need to know" 

Regina looked away ashamed "I didn't try to kill myself. I promise..." Regina paused as she looked at the care in Emma's eyes and she continued "however if I hadn't blacked out I think I would have attempted to."

Emma kneeled down in front of Regina pulling her into a hug. "I am so sorry. I just didn't realize how bad things were for you, but you do not need to do this alone anymore. You have me, and I will fight for you and us till the day I die. That's a promise."

Regina pulled out of the hug, she felt the love and warmth from Emma. She had literally just told the blonde how she wanted to die and she... she stayed, she didn't run.

"Why haven't you run?" Regina asked 

"Regina you may hate yourself, but I... well I don't. You hold my heart, and nothing is going to stop me from holding yours."

Emma moved into Regina cupping her face and kissing her sweetly, it was slow and gentle and kind.

Regina wrapped her arms around Emma and all she could think about was in this précis moment, it felt so unbelievably right and it made Regina feel completely and utterly blessed to have Emma.


	5. What really happened

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Curvature font is each persons thoughts. Bold font is flashback/night terrors]
> 
> In this chapter there is a bit of fluff but it becomes very dark, and extreme trigger warning for rape. I tried to do it as sensitivity as I can considering the flashbacks and night terrors are exactly what happened to me. I was raped by my boyfriend at 18, he was 17. Then last year I was sexually assaulted so this story is coming from my own experience and I need you guys to understand how hard this was for me to write but I also wanted to show how much pain comes from a rape and/or sexual assault.
> 
> If this has happened to you please reach out and talk to someone! it gets better. I love you all and I am so thankful that you guys have stuck with this story. It means more to me than you can ever know.

"I really thought you were going to leave me Em, or you'd at least been scared off." Regina smiled weakly as she cuddled into Emma, pulling the blanket over them both. Emma smiled back lovingly at her new girlfriend, still not quite believing they were together,

"I told you Regina, I'm not running, no matter what happens, no matter where we go, you're stuck with me. I am not running, I swear to you."

Regina sinks deeper into the warmth of the blonde's body, no words were spoken, just a thick silence that filled the air.

Emma decided she should be the one to break the silence because it was unlikely that Regina would and she didn't mind, she knew that they could sit in silence for hours cuddling even though neither of them would feel uncomfortable, however Emma needed to say what was holding her heart hostage.

"Gina..."

"Mmm?" Regina grunted.

"I know I pushed you to tell me what was going on today, I pushed hard and I am sorry if it was too much for you I just...I needed you to know that you can trust me and that you don't need to worry about telling me things. Because I love you and I am sticking around and nothing you do or have done will change that. In this life or the next. but I just, I'm sorry if I pushed too hard or I you weren't ready or you, I-"

Emma was starting to get herself in a bit of a state and Regina cut her off just in time.

The brunette sat up looking at Emma and took her hands into her own. "Listen to me Miss. Swan. You did not push me hard into telling you what happened. You made me tell you Emma, and without that push I would never have been able to open myself up. You did that Em, you. Emma Swan you showed me that I could believe in you and us, you showed me I could trust you. I just needed to let you in and let my walls down. I could never have done that without you."

Regina sighed looking down sadly "What's wrong?" Emma frowned

"I just need you to know that even though I may have opened up to you it doesn't mean that all the pain and everything else that happened to me, is gone. I'm still-"

"I know that, I know." Emma replied knowing Regina couldn't or wouldn't finish her sentence but she didn't care because she had already pushed her girlfriend pretty hard and she didn't want to make anything worse.

Regina smiled as she lay back down, relaxing her head onto Emma's lap and the blonde stroked the side of Regina's face. "So Chinese or Indian for take out tonight?"

* * *

After they'd consumed their Chinese, eaten a bowl of popcorn between them and drank a glass of apple cider each, Emma felt her girlfriend relax into her arms and she looked over at the clock on the wall.

"Babe, it's almost midnight, maybe we should go to bed?" Emma suggested but Regina didn't move. 

Emma stood up moving Regina off her lap, walking over to the lights and switching them off. Emma walked back to Regina and she put her hand out for the brunette to take "You need to sleep."

Regina nodded, she knew she needed to sleep, she was just so damn scared.

All she could think was What if  **he's** there. What if  **he** hurts me again.  _ I can never do anything to stop it and this time Emma will see what happens when I have a night terror.  _

Regina couldn't quite work out what she was more afraid of. Reliving the nightmare, or Emma watching her relive the nightmare. Both seemed like things she didn't want to happen, but she would rather Emma was with her than not because at least then, at least when she wakes up she will have someone she loves there with her to hold her and to make her feel safe again, that's all Regina has wanted for a long, long time. To feel safe.

_ Is it really too much to ask? I just want to be happy.  _

__

Emma could see Regina was frozen to the spot with fear, so Emma touched her girlfriends shoulder which made Regina flinch.

"Sorry." Regina whispered.

"Don't be." Emma smiled before asking "Can I carry you to bed?"

Regina nodded and Emma bent down scooping Regina up in her arms, just like the night before when she found her bleeding out. Regina wrapped her arms around Emma and rested her head on her shoulder.

All Regina could think was _ Why does she care? Why just why?  _

Emma could tell her a million times over, why… but Regina would still question herself and question Emma's motives twenty times a day even if the blonde did make her feel more safe than she's felt in a very long time. She doesn't even remember feeling this safe, ever, maybe that was it, because she's never felt this Safe.

No one's ever cared for her like Emma has, it's new and different and scary as hell.

_ But I kind of like it. _

Emma sat Regina down on the bed before opening up the chest of drawers to find her some pajamas

"Evil Queen Pj.s?" Emma smirked.

Regina just smiled "No Pj's. My stomach hurting a lot so I'm just going to sleep in my underwear, if it makes you uncomf-"

"Regina, stop it, I want you to feel safe okay? So you sleeping in just your underwear? It doesn't make me uncomfortable. As long as you're okay with me sleeping in my underwear and tank top." Emma smirked as she dropped her pants.

"Of course I am." Regina replied softly standing up and taking off her bra and top and slid off her pants laying them over a chair in the corner of the room, before walking over to her side of the bed and slipping under the covers and laying on her side. 

Emma couldn't help but smile at Regina even if she could see that the brunette was terrified but at least now she knew why that was.

Emma rolled into bed on the other side of Regina and wrapped her arms around the brunette's body gently, she felt her flinch slightly before relaxing into the warm hold.

"Don't let go." Regina whispered as she closed her eyes.

"Never," Emma replied and she kissed the top of her girlfriends head, holding her in her arms and falling fast asleep.

* * *

*** FLASHBACK IN THE FORM OF A NIGHT TERROR ***

**"GET OFF ME! PLEASE DON'T DO THIS"**

**Regina found herself screaming, laying on her back, naked with this man on top of her holding her down and covering her mouth. She screamed out for help but no help came.**

**Leopold laughed "You're my wife now Regina. You will let me do what I want... to you, whenever I want."**

**The fear in her eyes must have shone through.**

**"Please..." Regina exhausted out in a whisper as she tried to wriggle out of her husband's grasp.**

**"Regina, I don't want to hurt you and this will go a lot better if you stopped moving. No one's going to save you."**

**But Regina was a fighter, she tried and tried and tried until he flipped Regina over so she was on her stomach, and at the moment she froze.**

**Time felt frozen, she still managed to let out a whimper of pain as Leopold did what he wanted to her. Regina couldn't stop crying. This man who she's been forced to marry, he was making her do things, things she didn't want to do and she didn’t and couldn’t understand why, from this she came to hate herself more than she already did. Regina knew it was just going to get worse as time went on. What she couldn't understand is why, when she screamed no one came for her. How know one saved her.**

**When Leopold finally finished, he sat up and pulled off the covers slapping Regina's naked, and painfully red ass.**

**"A whore just like your mother Regina." Regina was frozen and the pain was awful.**

**When Leopold left, a nurse ran into the room running to Regina**

**"Are you okay?" she asked. She knew exactly what had just happened but did nothing.**

*** END OF FLASHBACK IN THE FORM OF A NIGHT TERROR ***

Emma awoke with a startle, Regina was kicking and screaming.

"HELP ME! GET OFF ME! PLEASE DON'T" Regina screamed over and over and over again "YOU'RE HURTING ME!"

Emma's heart shattered hearing her girlfriend go through this, the blonde sat up turning on the light next to her, she placed her hand on Regina's forehead, trying to sooth her as much as she could

"Gina, baby... baby. It's me...It's okay, I'm here. You're safe now, no one can hurt you anymore." Emma calmly did this for a good few minutes, before Regina woke up falling out of bed and forgetting Emma was there.

The brunette grabbed her phone frantically taking out the blade and sitting on the ground tears streaming down her face.

"Regina? What are you doing?" Emma asked hesitantly, walking round and kneeling next to her girlfriend. She didn't pry the blade from Regina's hands, she just sat there, waiting for Regina to talk to her.

"I...I can't Emma. I have to..." Regina sobbed looking from her blade to her stomach.

"Regina." Emma let out in a tone that sounded like a firm beg.

"I... I have to." Emma tried grabbing Regina's hands but she wasn't quick enough, Regina stood up Running into the bathroom shutting the door behind her.

Regina slid down the door, sitting on the floor with her legs out in front of, she could hear Emma on the other side.

"REGINA! REGINA! PLEASE DON'T DO THIS."

"I have to." Regina whispered loud enough for Emma to hear.

Regina looked down at her legs placing the blade on top of her skin and pressing down hard, dragging the piece of metal slowly across, she could feel the pain, but nothing could equalize to the pain of what Leopold did to her.

Regina closed her eyes feeling the blood drip down the side of her leg with each cut. She could see him. It started again.

* * *

*** FLASHBACK ***

**"Shut your dirty mouth Regina."**

**Leopold was on top of Regina, he was pushing himself inside her harder each time. He was losing his temper because Regina wouldn't open her legs for him so he violently opened them for her making her scream out in pain.**

**Regina cried and cried until she felt like she couldn't cry anymore.**

**She couldn't breathe, She was frozen, her eyes closed, shut tight so she didn't have to see what he was doing, she couldn't bare to see him shaming her, making her feel so worthless. After an hour he climbed off her looking her in the eyes**

**"You're a worthless piece of shit Regina. You know you want this really" He laughed walking out the room.**

*** END OF FLASHBACK ***

Regina suddenly came out of her flashback, looking down at her legs and at her stomach, she'd cut deeper and done more cuts than she had ever done before, she's never had a flashback before whilst she'd been cutting. Emma was still hammering on the door, screaming for her girlfriend to let her in. Regina pushed herself away from the door, letting Emma come barreling in and leaning herself up against the bath.

"Gina!" Emma gasped running to her girlfriend who was incredibly weak and almost laying down, in the blood that was dripping from her stomach and both her thighs.

"Emma...I'm sorry, I just meant to do a couple... but the flashbacks..." Regina panted with a cry

"It's okay baby, it's okay shhh, shhh." Emma said sadly pushing Regina's hair out of her face and looking at the cuts on the brunette's stomach and thighs before noticing blood seeping through her underwear.

Regina was becoming extremely weak, exhausted, after a night terror and then a flashback, she was shattered.

"Regina, I need to remove your underwear." Emma stated 

"No, no, no! don't please he'll find me! He'll hurt me, don't let him hurt me!"

Regina crawled into Emma's arms clinging onto the blonde, like her life depended on it. She was smearing blood all over Emma's very white tank top. It didn't matter though, Emma didn't care that her white top was now very red or that Regina didn't talk to her, no she cared about the fact her girlfriend was in pain and she couldn't do anything to stop it.

"Regina, look at me." Emma was firm with her tone, she lifted Regina's face up gently so her eyes met the brunettes.

"He's not here. He's dead. You had him killed remember? No one is going to hurt you. You're safe, no one is going to ever hurt you again." Emma replied softly.

"You don't know that." Regina sobbed shifting back to where she was seated a moment ago, she lent her head back against the bath, relaxing her legs out in front of her.

"Will you let me take your underwear off?" Emma asked.

Regina nodded, she closed her eyes and before she could do anything she was frozen in time again.


	6. Frozen in time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina feels frozen, in her night terrors and flashback, but one good thing is she now has Emma to help her through it all. Regina is starting to remember in her flash back some repressed memories...it was someone who knew what was happening but did nothing to help... (Also just a reminder that what is happening to Regina in this is what happened to me. It's my story that I'm sharing which has been hard to write at times but well worth it.)

Emma looked down at her passed out girlfriend, she pulled off her underwear, leaving Regina completely naked.

Her heart broke at the state of Regina's body, new bleeding cuts on her stomach and thighs, her face was completely tear stained.

The blonde let out a big sigh "Oh Regina." Emma cupped the brunette's face in her hand.

"I love you so much, I hate seeing you in this much pain. He won't ever hurt you again, no one is ever going to hurt you I promise."

Emma stated as she kissed the top of Regina’s head before standing up, grabbing the first aid kid and sitting back down next to Regina.

* * *

***  FLASHBACK ***

**Regina looked at the woman who had walked in the room after Leopold had left.**

**“You heard me screaming and did nothing?”**

**The lady looked at Regina with cold eyes but said nothing, Regina didn't move she let the lady wash her, which she winced at in pain the whole way through.**

**"He's the King. Even if we wanted to help you dear. we can't go up against the King, but we don't want to help you. You deserve everything he does to you."**

**She said before disappearing out the room and leaving Regina there on the bed, cold and naked and vulnerable.**

***  END FLASHBACK ***

* * *

"I'm sorry." Regina croaked waking up, looking at Emma who was just finishing up the last of the stitches.

"It's okay." Emma replied softly as she put the band aids over the stitches and put the first aid kit away.

Emma sat next to Regina on the floor "Come on lay down." Emma asked in a firm but gentle tone. Regina didn't even care that she looked a state or that she had no clothes on, or that Emma probably heard her terrified screams in her sleep. She just didn't care. Regina moved herself, so that her head was on Emma's lap, and the rest of her body was curled up. Emma held Regina's hand in her own and used the other to stroke her girlfriends face.

"You can trust me." Emma whispered. She didn't want Regina to be scared, she needed her to know that she was here, and if she had those flashbacks or nightmares to at least try and talk to her.

All Regina could say in reply was "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry baby. I love you okay, you don't have anything to be sorry for anything."

"I do." Regina replied holding back her tears.

"My love talk to me." Emma asked gently, continuing to stroke the brunette's face. Regina was trying so hard to hold back her tears that were grasping at the bit to get free.

"I'm here when you're ready to talk, we can stay here all night cuddled up on the cold bathroom floor if you wish. It's entirely up to you." Emma was soft with her voice, knowing that the choice had to be Regina's to make.

"But if we stay here, maybe I should take off my clothes so we can both be naked." Emma tried to lighten the mood, even if it was just a little bit.

"I want to stay here." Regina replied. "I have my answer then, sit up for me, so I can undress." Regina sat up, her movements were slow and painful.

Emma took off the tank top and underwear she had on, throwing them into the corner and they landed perfectly into the wash bin.

"WHOLE IN ONE." Emma shouted excitedly, before turning to face the brunette who was almost laughing.

"You're a dork." Regina laughed as she tapped Emma's nose with her index finger. 

Regina's eyes had a sparkle in them, a sparkle Emma hadn't seen , not since they kissed that night in the bath.

"Yes but I'm your dork." Emma beamed as she pressed her lips against Regina's. The brunette pulled away just smiling.

"Yes. You are my dork and I love you."

Emma sighed, as she pulled Regina back onto her lap, she was so scared for Regina, she didn't want to lose her but she knew if Regina carried on this way. She would lose her permanently.

Emma then heard Regina whisper, just loud enough for her to hear "I'm what's wrong."

"What baby?" Emma asked not sure if she heard her correctly.

"I'm what's wrong Emma." Regina cried louder. "If I'm not hurting myself then I am hurting and pushing away everyone around me. It's all because of me."

"Don't, don't do this to yourself Gina, don't beat yourself up, you don't need to be in any more pain than you already are"

Regina sobbed into Emma's chest as her girlfriend held her tight hoping it would make her feel at least a little bit safer.

It took a good twenty minutes for Regina to calm down.

"Come on let's go back to bed." Emma suggested gently.

"NO!" Regina freaked out, quickly moving to the edge of the room, sitting herself against the wall next to the bath. Regina pulled her knees up into her chest shaking her head as she rested it on her knees.

Emma hesitated for a moment, she didn't go to Regina first, she walked back into the bedroom, when she came back through Emma was in a new underwear and a new tank top.

In her arms the blonde carried a clean pair of cloth pyjamas.

"At least put these on for me."

"Why? don't you like me being naked?" Regina smirked, lifting up her head to look at Emma.

"Of course I do but you're shivering." Emma smiled as she walked over and kneeled down in front of Regina.

The brunette nodded, accepting defeat.

"Need help?" Emma asked, seeing Regina struggling with the pain.

"I am quite capable...Agh!" Regina tried standing up, but from being so weak, and in pain she just fell right back down, with her legs collapsing beneath her. Luckily Emma was there to catch the rest of her body before she fell into a crumpled mess on the floor.

"Now will you let me help you?" Emma smirked with confidence, whilst still being concerned for Regina as she held her under each arm.

"Fine." the brunette grunted.

Emma picked Regina up helping her stand. "Arms up."

Regina felt like a child but she couldn't get dressed herself because the pain was too much, and she felt too weak. Regina put her arms up like Emma asked and her girlfriend pulled her pyjama top over her head, tugging it down her body gently. Regina then stepped into the pyjama bottoms that Emma was holding out in front of her, she held onto Emma's shoulders for balance as Emma lifted them up to her waist.

"There. That wasn't so bad was it?"

"No. I guess not"

"Wait here." Emma smiled disappearing into the bedroom and reappearing again with the duvet and pillows from the bed.

"We can have a sleepover in here." Emma beamed as she threw the duvet and pillows over to Regina who was already sitting on the bathroom floor.

"Don't we need snacks for that?" Regina asked seriously.

"Yep." and again Emma ran into the bedroom and came back carrying a box.

"My secret stash of chocolate, chips and bear claws."

"You have a secret stash? Why?"

"For emergencies like this babe." Emma crawled under the duvet and passed the box to Regina.

"Take your pick. Just leave me a bear claw."

"Of course dear."

Regina sat up against the pillows that she'd placed behind her back against the bath, digging through the box of snacks and took out a snickers bar.

"You've never had chocolate before have you?" Emma asked looking at the confused look on the brunettes face.

"No...how did you know?"

"Your face." Emma smiled, taking the box from Regina and pulling out a bear claw and she started eating like there was no tomorrow.

"Is that good dear?" Regina asked, arching her eyebrow.

"Mm. sorry." Emma chuckled. 

Regina didn't reply she just ate her own chocolate bar, and as Emma finished her bear claw Regina pulled the blonde in for a gentle hug.

"You okay?" Emma frowned.

"Yeah I just want to hold you, if you're okay with that?" Regina asked with her last mouthful of chocolate.

Emma couldn't help but smile at Regina being so adorable.

"Of course it's okay, I just don't want to hurt you."

"You won't, I'll tell you if any pain starts."

The blonde nodded in agreement as they lay down, moving the pillows under their heads and positioning the duvet over them both more securely.

Emma set her head on Regina's chest wrapping her arms round her delicately "You good?"

"I'm good." Regina smiled as her heart beat faster, she knew she needed sleep but she was so scared.

"Hey Gina, I'm here okay, nothing is going to happen to you whilst I am here. Close your eyes." Emma said softly, reaching up to Regina's face, and stroking the side of it.

"Go to sleep baby." Regina decided to take a deep breath, holding on to her girlfriend for dear life and closing her eyes. They both fell asleep in each other's arms and Emma's hand slid off Regina's face landing on the pillow next to her as she drifted off.

Emma woke with a startle again hearing Regina mumbling, she was kicking her legs, and clutching at the covers, her eyes were shut tight.

"NO! LEOPOLD NO! PLEASE PLEASE DON'T DO THIS! I'LL BE GOOD PLEASE!" Regina cried out.

Emma sat up looking at the pained look in Regina's face, hearing her scream made her heart break a million times over, Emma took Regina's hands into her own, and started rubbing the back of her hands

"Gina wake up, baby, you're safe. He can't hurt you."

* * *

***  NIGHT TERROR FLASHBACK  ***

**_Oh god, I'm here again._ **

**Regina cried, she was back in her bed chamber, frozen to the spot, frozen in time she couldn't move.**

**She heard Leopold talking outside the room, talking to the lady of whom Regina couldn't remember who she was or what her name was until she heard what Leopold said to her.**

**"Emily don't let anyone in here okay, no one, except you can come in, not until I'm finished with her. Okay?"**

**"Of course your majesty."**

**Regina could suddenly move, she jumped out of bed trying to find another way out the room, Regina was in such a state she didn't hear Leopold walk in, or the door closing. Regina all of a sudden felt his hand wrap around her waist**

**"Where do you think you're going, whore." Leopold spat**

**"Get off me." Regina tried, which just made the King laugh**

**"Oh I don't think so. He picked Regina up, throwing her on to the bed, and ripping off her clothes.**

**He held her arms down above her head so she couldn't move and he forcefully spread her legs, the pain from all the other nights of this, viciously went through Regina's body.**

**Everything hurt and she knew it was about to get a whole lot worse, if Regina even tried not looking at him, he would just make it worse.**

**"NO! LEOPOLD, NO! PLEASE! PLEASE! DON'T DO THIS! I'LL BE GOOD PLEASE!" Regina screamed .**

**"You'll be good?" The King asked before taking off his own clothing.**

**"We'll just have to see about that... considering you've never been good! Not in any way shape or form. You deserve everything I give you Regina. Everything."**

**Regina couldn't help but cry, and her body shook with fear but at the same time it was frozen, it was a never ending nightmare. Frozen in time, frozen in this exact moment.**

*** END OF NIGHT TERROR FLASHBACK ***

* * *

Emma repeated and continued the motion of rubbing the brunette's hands until Regina woke up crying.

Emma was expecting Regina to go straight for the blades, but she didn't. No she fell straight into Emma's arms crying and crying and crying. Emma rubbed circles on Regina's back to try and help comfort and soothe her.

"You're safe baby. You're safe." Emma whispered, continuing the circles and kissing Regina's head.

"Someone...someone...someone knew." Regina spoke through her cries.

"What?"

"Someone knew, they knew what he was doing to me Emma! They knew and did nothing they didn't help. WHY DIDN'T THEY HELP ME?! I WAS SO SCARED AND I COULDN'T MOVE OR BREATHE OR -" Regina's speech had become loud, fast and jittery.

"Hey Gina look at me. LOOK." Emma raised her voice, using a soft tone so as to not scare Regina.

The brunette lifted her head, looking up at her girlfriend,

"I am here okay? Come here." Emma pulled Regina in for a tight hug.

"I am so proud of you."

"Why?" 

Emma chuckled holding Regina against her chest "Because Gina, you could have gone straight for your blades, and if you did I wouldn't have blamed you, but you didn't. You trusted me enough to just cry and not hurt yourself. You have so much strength within you my love."

Regina smiled weakly but stayed quiet.

"No one helped me Em."

"I know and I'm so sorry I wasn't there to save you, but I am your saviour Regina. No one will ever hurt you again."

"I didn't realize that someone else knew until the last couple of night terrors and flashbacks, it's like I had pushed them away and now...I don't know I just... I... I feel safe with you Emma." Regina took a deep breath.

"I've never been so scared before." Regina sobbed leaning against Emma's warm body and tangling her legs up with the blondes, which gave Regina a fuzzy warm feeling inside, it made her smile for no other reason other than, she felt loved and safe and cared for and also for the fact that Emma wouldn't let anything happen to her.

This was the being frozen in time that she liked because she didn't want it to end, she wanted to stay like this forever and ever because she knew, that for the both of them it was one of the best feelings in the world. 


	7. A fight for love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> long and short of this chapter. Snow and Henry find out about Emma and Regina being together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This is probably a really shitty chapter also if you don't like sex scenes don't read the next chapter because that's what it's going to be! anyway enjoy and review!

Regina smiled as she took Emma's hand walking out the door.

That morning Regina had woken up in Emma's arms after having no nightmares in over 2 months, feeling safe and comforted and they just lay there; for hours it felt like. Some of it talking, some of it not, but whichever it was, it didn't matter because they were both happy.

That's all that really mattered.

Regina hadn't been out of the house in three days, so Emma took it upon herself to take her to breakfast at granny's, apart from the mayor needing to get out, she was worried that people of storybrooke would take her disappearance, as a chance to elect someone new.

Regina was the perfect fit for the job. There didn't need to be a new election.

"Baby, it's going to be fine." Emma smiled squeezing Regina's hand as they arrived outside Granny's.

"But-"

Regina wasn't sure everything would be okay, after all, she was still The Evil Queen, that was according to everyone else.

"Gina, Please believe me. Come on let's get you some breakfast."

Regina nodded locking her fingers in with Emma's and letting Emma take the lead as they walked into the diner. As soon as they walked through that door, everyone turned their heads to see the mayor and the saviours fingers intertwined.

Regina went to let go, but Emma kept a tight hold, and dragged her into a booth at the back of the diner.

Ruby walked over "So? You fucking the mayor now?" Ruby asked seriously with slight anger in her voice.

"Ruby-" Emma went to say before Ruby cut her of

"Save it. What can I get you?"

Regina gulped "Could I get a black coffee and..."

Regina looked at Emma not really sure what to have

"Two of granny's breakfast specials please and my usual hot coco, if you can do it without being a bitch that would be appreciated."

Ruby smiled sarcastically and stormed off.

"Emma there was no need for that. What happened with you two anyway?"

"Nothing." Emma huffed

"I am not stupid Miss. Swan. Tell me."

"Look she was being a bitch all the time and then she found out I liked you okay?!"

Emma all but bit Regina's head off.

Regina just stared out the window keeping her hands on the edge of the table until the blonde grabbed them, which Regina instantly snapped away.

"I'm sorry Gina. I didn't me-"

"It's fine." Regina replied sharply.

"Gina?"

"No!" Regina stood up

"I get it Emma, you fucked Ruby and she found out, but taking it out on me is no way to get me to open up!" 

Regina then stormed out of Granny's with everyone looking between the mayor, the saviour and the wolf.

Ruby walked over with the two plates of food

“So you just can’t stop hurting people can you? Don’t worry maybe she’ll curse you, like she cursed us all for twenty eight years.” Ruby smirked, placing the plates down on the table.

“Fuck you Ruby!” Emma left money on the table for the uneaten plates of food, and she ran after Regina, however her mother stopped her just as she reached the door.

“Emma!” Snow smiled hugging her daughter quickly.

“What’s wrong?” Snow frowned seeing a worried expression on Emma’s face.

“I’m fine… I need to go after Gina…Regina.”

“Why?”

“Because she’s upset. Mary-Margret please let me past” Snow looked at her daughter more confused.

“She’s The Evil Queen. Why should you care or anyone care about her for that matter!”

“Because she has no one and I love her -”

Emma let the last bit slip without realizing, and she very quickly put her hands to her mouth.

“You? And Regina? Is that what you’ve been doing for two months going over to her house to be with her? Have you been fucking her for the last 3 days too?”

“Will you shut up! And no we haven’t actually had sex yet if you must know, not that it's any of your business." 

Emma shoved past the woman who was supposedly her mother, not that she felt like it, the way Mary-Margret had been treating her since the curse broke. Mary-Margret didn't know who Emma was and Emma didn't know who she was, and yet she was being treated, like she's been with her parents for the entire twenty eight years.

She hated it.

"Regina?! wait!"

Emma ran after the mayor who was half way down the street.

Regina didn't stop, she slowed down but didn't stop until Emma grabbed her arm, stopping her from moving.

"Regina..."

"Save it Emma, you think that because of what's happened to me, because of what I went through. I am now this vulnerable, fragile person who needs to be taken care of. Well Miss. Swan I am not and I don't! I am still the mayor, The Queen. Whatever but I do like it when we hold hands or when you hold me. I feel safe."

Regina took a breath before she continued "But in there Emma. I felt like you didn't even care about me. I didn't feel safe with you." Regina held back her tears waiting for Emma to answer.

"Regina. I'm sorry... I just wanted to protect you -"

"I DON'T NEED PROTECTION!" Regina shouted.

"I know. I'm so sorry Gina."

Emma looked at Regina holding tight to her hand.

"I am sorry Gina I really am."

Regina looked back into the blonde's eyes seeing the sincerity of her apology.

"Okay. Just give me some time on my own... give me an hour and come back to the mansion I just need some time...please. I won't do anything I promise."

Emma could see that Regina meant what she said and she kissed Regina quickly before letting her go.

* * *

After Regina had walked away, Emma went back into Granny's. She found her Mom and Henry sitting in the same booth herself and Regina had just left.

She slid in, sitting opposite them both.

"Is it true?" Henry asked

"You told him?" Emma asked, frustrated at her mother which made Snow White look away sheepishly.

"But Mom she's the evil queen. She's evil. Who could ever love her."

"Henry! That's enough." Emma frowned at her son.

Emma didn't understand, even before the curse broke, how Henry could have such a hatred towards Regina. Emma just couldn't fathom how the woman she's fallen in love with, even if she had been The evil queen, how anyone could hate her.

"You're mom loves you Henry."

"She's not my mom." Henry grumbled back

"Henry Daniel Mills. Stop it."

Emma stood up looking at the pair of them, they had such hatred in their eyes for Regina. That hurt Emma more than anything.

"Emma, honey? Do you love her?" her mother asked.

"Yes. I do. More than anything." Emma walked away grabbing two coffee's to go, and walking over to Regina's she knew Regina had asked for an hour but Emma needed to be with her.

* * *

Emma walked up the path of the mansion, to see Regina sitting on the door stop "Gina? you okay?"

"Emma!" Regina gasped with a slight smile. "I told you-"

"I know what you said Gina, but my mother, and Henry, I had to come over. I'm sorry." Emma knelt in front of her girlfriend, holding out one of the hot paper cups "Coffee?"

Regina smiled taking the coffee, and started to drink "Emma? can I ask you something?"

"Of course. But could we go inside where it's not so cold?" Emma smiled as she rubbed the side of Regina's arm's trying to warm up her shivering girlfriend and helping her to her feet...

As they warmed up by the fire, Emma wrapped her arm around the brunette, pulling her into a tight hug. "Gina?" Emma asked with bated breath for her to answer…

"Why do you care about me or love me? I mean everyone else in this town hates me. Everyone looks at me as The Evil Queen, including my son. Why don't you?" Regina asked.

Emma heard the hurt in Regina's voice, especially when she spoke of Henry, she had never seen Regina as The Evil Queen, ever, she always saw her as Regina Mills, I woman who had obviously been through so much that her pain had turned to anger and pure hatred.

"I love you Regina, because you are someone that will allow yourself to be vulnerable, but you are one of the strongest people I know and even...even when Henry is so hurtful, you still keep yourself composed. You're not afraid to have a full blown argument in front of people, my favorite thing about you, is that you love me back. Regina you have fire and passion and you love more deeply than anyone I know."

Regina smiled at Emma's words "Have you ever seen me as The Evil Queen?" Regina whispered just loud enough for the blonde to hear

"No, Never."

"Why not?"

Emma laughed slightly "Well first of you cursed everyone and my parent's shipped me away to Maine in a bloody magic wardrobe. But I never thought you were Evil, I thought you were someone, who had a hell of a lot of issues, specifically you had a lot of anger issues and I knew there was a reason behind those issues, I just felt something had to of happened to make you so angry and cold and so very closed off. I was right. I also knew there is a lot of good in you, you just needed someone to help show you that it's okay to let the good out."

Again Regina couldn't help but smile.

Every time Regina asked Emma a question, the blonde had exactly the right answer.

Emma really couldn't understand why anyone could hate Regina, because for her whenever she thought about her, a small smile slowly appeared on her mouth, and whenever she saw Regina it only made the smile grow, whenever they kissed or whenever she thought about kissing her, so many butterflies arrived in her stomach, she couldn't stop thinking about her and how she made her feel because no one, not Neal, not Graham, absolutely no one else had ever made her feel like this.

Finally someone who gave her fireworks and made her feel so many emotions all at once. It was unbelievably amazing. She felt safe and just looking at Regina, seeing her smile and her chocolate brown eyes looking back, made her melt. Emma had no idea how it happened but she'd fallen crazily in love with the woman seated before her.  _ How? how was it that one person could change your life forever. _

"How about we go upstairs and get you changed and change those dressings?" Emma asked softly but encouragingly.

"Sure" Regina replied as she stood up.

They reached the bathroom in a matter of minutes, they both walked in and Emma sat Regina down on the edge of the bath.

Emma then asked Regina to take off her bottoms and top (which she did without hesitation) and she cleaned up the stitches, then re-dressed them. Emma gave Regina some comfy clothes to wear, which Regina put on before they walked back into their bedroom.

Regina sat on the edge of the bed and let out a deep sigh, Emma decided to sit down next to Regina on the bed. "Hey baby?"

Regina just shook her head.

"I'm fine."

"No...no you're not, what's wrong?"

Regina looked to her girlfriend with tears springing to her eyes.

"Gina? Hey...hey? Babe? what's going on?"

Emma was starting to worry.

"I'm sorry, it's so stupid."

Emma looked at Regina tucking her hair behind her ear. "What's wrong? It's clearly not stupid, if you're this upset."

Regina was surprised, but comforted by her girlfriend's response.

"Come on, my love, tell me, talk to me I'm right here." Emma soothed showing Regina that she wasn't going anywhere, which funnily enough was what Regina wanted to talk to her about.

"Are you going to leave me?!" Regina blurted out.

"What?" Emma wasn't sure she had heard it right.

"I'm scared, Okay?"

"That I'm going to leave you?" Emma frowned.

Regina looked away before continuing "Yes and I'm also scared I'm going to be alone forever, especially when you're the only one that even gives a damn about me. I get butterflies every time I think about you or look at you and especially when I kiss you." 

Regina hadn't really spoken about how happy Emma made her, it was always the other way round but their love for one another, went both ways. They really did love each other more than anything.

"I just don't want to be alone forever."

"You won't be." Emma replied as she gazed into Regina's eyes stroking the side of her face, she then leaned in kissing Regina slowly. "I love you Gina, I am not going anywhere."

Regina gulped before saying the next sentence, knowing it would probably leave Emma in slight shock. whether that would be a good or bad shock she wasn't sure.

"I want to have sex with you Emma."


	8. Almost Caught

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina and Emma have sex for the first time, is it good? is it not? do they get caught?
> 
> Do the charming's and Henry come around to the idea of them being together?
> 
> Who is the mysterious figure that visits Regina.

"Gina...Did you just ask me to have sex with you?" Emma smirked before Regina looked away not wanting to look the blonde in the eyes.

"You don't want to do it? I'm sorry I shouldn't have said anything."

Emma frowned at her girlfriend and took Regina's face in her hands.

"Gina it's not that, I just...I don't want you to jump into anything you're not ready for... are you sure you're ready for this?"

Regina smiled at the care in Emma's eyes and the soft tone in her voice "Yes I'm ready, I've been wanting this for longer than you know. I just didn't know if you wanted to." Regina frowned with a slight smile as Emma pushed her girlfriend back onto the bed and straddled Regina

"Does this look like I don't want to?"

Regina shook her head as Emma pinned her arms above her head

"Gina just if you want me to stop just say the word."

The brunette nodded as the air filled with silence except for the noises or Emma kissing the mayor's neck, giving Regina more butterflies than ever before. Regina closed her eyes as she tilted her head back to let Emma continue kissing up and down her neck, Regina didn't want Emma to ever stop kissing her neck, she didn't realize how much just a simple kissing of her, would do to her but it does a lot.

Emma stopped and pulled off Regina's top and bra, stripping herself of her own top. Emma kissed down her girlfriend's neck biting gently as she reached Regina's stomach.

"You okay?" Emma checked in with Regina.

Even though the brunette was grinning from ear to ear, Emma wanted to check she wasn't hiding any discomfort so every 5 minutes Emma checked in.

Emma held Regina's legs in place on the bed as she put her face between them, she inserted her tongue and Regina let out a rather soft and long moan

"Oh god." Regina smiled as she began arching her back gently as Emma moved her tongue around Regina's pussy slowly

"Oh god keep going..."

Regina's voice became higher and higher with each movement that Emma made with her tongue.

It didn't take too long for Emma to get Regina to a climax

"I'm nearly there Em!" Regina screamed whilst Emma flicked her tongue on to Regina's clit quickly over and over again until Regina came screaming out the blonde's name.

Not even a minute went by before the door to the bedroom burst open with snow standing there and Regina and Emma hurrying under the covers

"Mom!" Emma shouted, hiding both herself and Regina.

"I heard screaming?" Snow asked innocently

"Yes that was me." Regina smirked leaning into Emma.

"Why?"

"Why was I screaming? Surely you can work that one out." Regina snarled holding tight to the covers and her girlfriend.

Snow looked around the bedroom seeing two lots of clothing on the floor by the bed and suddenly, she let out a horrified scream, making Henry and Charming race up the stairs to stand beside Snow.

"Grandma?" Henry asked concerned.

"I'm fine Henry. Go back downstairs please."

Henry frowned, suddenly turning his face from his grandmother to his mother's bed, which had a massive lump in the middle where Regina and Emma were, hiding under the duvet. Henry's face went a very bright red and he sprinted from the room faster than any of them had seen him run ever before.

"Get dressed." Snow stated before storming out the room with charming in toe.

Both Emma and Regina burst out laughing as everyone had left the room.

"She actually asked why I was screaming? could she not tell it was from your tongue inside me?" Regina smirked as she threw off the covers.

Emma hit her playfully "Regina Mills!"

"What? It's true!" Regina shrieked with a grin.

"Your mother almost caught us having sex."

"Yeah well Henry and I walked in on them last week ‘making tacos’."

"Tacos?" Regina frowned, there was a two minute pause before you could see the light bulb go off in the brunette's head.

"You caught your parents having S E X?"

"eeewwww eeewwww eeeewww!" 

Regina couldn't help but laugh at Emma's complete freak out, at the thought of her parents doing the dirty. Emma just jumped out of bed jumping around the room having a minor freak out with her eyes shut.

Regina stood up walking over to Emma and taking her face into her hands to stop her freaking out over her parents, it was funny at first but now Emma was getting herself in a state. 

"Em look at me, stop thinking about them and think about us."

"That image, I just I-" Emma was talking so fast Regina only knew of one way to calm her girlfriend down.

"I'm going to kiss you now, okay?" Regina whispered with her nose almost touching Emma's.

The blonde just nodded grinning ear to ear and Regina slowly placed her lips against Emma's, kissing her soft, beautiful lips and moving her hands to Emma's neck, as they continued into the kiss. 

Regina could probably stay kissing Emma all day every day, every time they kissed both of them felt the fireworks were going off and even then, Regina kept asking herself  _ why? Why does Emma love her? _

Maybe she was just pretending, Regina knew she was paranoid, she was scared, it was a fear that Emma would use her and dump her, but she did know, deep down that Emma wasn't like that and wouldn't do that but it didn't make the fear, any less and every day the mayor had to tell herself off for being so paranoid and she started being able to convince herself, that no matter what happened in the past, with her past relationships, Emma was different and she knew that, she loves Emma and Emma loves her and that is the most important thing in all the world.

* * *

As Regina and Emma walked down the stairs to the living room, now fully dressed they were rather surprised to find Emma's parents, and their son to still be there sat on the sofa with arms crossed whispering to each other, until they heard the padding of the footsteps from the two young women

"Why are you still here?" Emma asked seriously, looking from her mother to Henry.

"We need to talk to you... both of you." Snow replied pointing to the sofa next to them.

Emma took a hold of Regina's hand walking over and sitting down on the sofa, pulling Regina on to her lap.

"Okay so why do you need to speak to us?" Emma asked with a confused look.

"I... we... we don't like this... you two being together it's wrong." Snow said hesitantly and suddenly looked at the floor, when she could practically see the smoke coming from her daughters ears.

"Gina, sweetheart, stand up." Emma said as she patted the side of one of the brunette's thighs.

Regina stood up, immediately removing herself from her girlfriends lap waiting for Emma to stand, with a slightly worried feeling that she would do something...bad, not sure what exactly but she knew it wouldn't be good.

Emma stood up next to The mayor and held Regina’s hand tight in her own.

"What don't you like? The fact that I am gay and holding my girlfriends hand? or the fact that my girlfriend is The Evil Queen... according to you she's The Evil Queen but to me she's so much more, to me she's..."

Emma looked at the trembling brunette standing next to her, and she kissed her cheek smiling.

"to me she's just Regina." Emma smiled before she turned back to her parents waiting for a response

"But mom she's Evil!"

"Henry!" Regina suddenly found her voice

The heartbreak she felt every time he told her that, or that she wasn't his mother, it was awful, she could hardly stomach it.

Regina let go of Emma's hand and walked over to her son "How could you say that? I am your mother!" 

"No you're not! You're the evil queen, how could I love anyone who's done such horrible things?" Henry shouted before pointing at Emma. "She's my mom and you've used some sort of magic on her to make her fall in love with you."

Regina couldn't believe the words forming from her 11 year old son's mouth.

"Henry Daniel Mills!" Emma came to Regina's side. "Regina is your mother, she's raised you for ten years, and right now you're being incredibly unkind and cruel." Emma said firmly holding Regina around the waist, in case she collapsed.

"I can't.... I can't do this." Regina looked at Emma before removing herself from her grip and running up the stairs and out of sight.

“Gina wait -” Emma tried looking towards her girlfriend worried, as she rushed away, but not getting her voice heard in time.

The blonde turned back to her so-called family sitting on the sofa.

"Get out now before I throw you out." Emma shouted, moving towards her mother.

They didn't need to be told twice, they all ran as fast as they could out of the house.

* * *

As the front door slammed shut Emma heard the running of water from the bathroom up stairs and she knew that could mean only one thing.

Regina is very specific about when she has a bath or shower and now was not that moment. Emma ran up the stairs and rattled the door knob of the bathroom door. "Gina!! Babe! come on let me in please!!!" Emma shouted, as she panicked, the door was then magically unlocked.

As Emma pushed on the door she fell into the bathroom, to see Regina sitting naked in the bath holding the blades in her hand but she hadn't done anything.

Emma kneeled next to the bathtub and scrapped Regina's hair out of her face to see her crying.

"He hates me." Regina sobbed.

"Hey come on, he's a kid he doesn't understand everything that's happened."

"He hates me." Regina repeated.

"I don't." Emma smiled as she kissed her girlfriend's forehead. "In fact I love you."

Regina smiled “I know you do, I know I'm so lucky to have you but -” Regina continued to sob as Emma stroked the side of her face. 

"Look at me everything will be okay I promise you that."

"How? how can you promise that?" Regina shouted through her tears.

"Regina don’t shout at me please, we will figure this out together I promise.”

The brunette sighed "I'm sorry Em. Now help me out I'm cold." the mayor smirked as she stood up and jumped out the tub with Emma's help, she then pulled on some pants and a top. "I am sorry." Regina kissed Emma slowly holding her face in her hands. "...and I do love you, I just.. I wish Henry didn't see me as The Evil Queen, I get your parents seeing me as her, but Henry? He will never forgive me."

Regina cried looking into Emma's eyes as the tears fell from her face

"Oh Gina, he will come round just give him time."

"Will they ever accept us though?"

"You mean my parents?" Emma frowned, wrapping her arms around Regina and pulling her into a tight hold.

"Not just your parents."

"Regina, I just need you, if no one else accepts us, I don't care because I love you and you are my everything."

"Wow cheesy much? I love it…” Regina chuckled “…and you.” Regina said looking at her Emma as she placed a small kiss on Emma's nose.

* * *

Suddenly there was a rather alarming knock at the front door of the mansion scaring them both half to death.

"I'll go." Regina smiled, squeezing Emma's hand and kissing her forehead before gently walking down the stairs to the front door, she stood there seeing the silhouette of the figure, her heart dropped.

It looked like someone who shouldn't even be standing there.

Regina just felt like something was wrong, she felt uneasy and certainly didn't want to open that door. It was like being in a horror film, more so if it is the person she feels and thinks it is, that's standing on the other side.

Regina opened the door to see exactly the person she really didn't want to see, her heart dropped even more than it already had, she felt clammy and shaky, she couldn't breathe, she choked up and just wanted the ground to swallow her up and she was trying so hard not to cry.

"Hello Regina."

The woman stated in a Queen like manor before Regina managed to be able to get out a word, just one word

"Mother." and the tears fell from her eyes, which she knew her mother would berate her for later.


	9. Queen of hearts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We all know who the Queen of hearts is... but is she really back? and what does she want? How will Regina cope? Will her mother turn her back to being evil again or will the mayor be able to resist the temptation of the darkness?

Regina stood there frozen for, she didn't know how long, it was like a dream.

A dream within a dream.

She was suddenly bought out of her state when her mother spoke.

"Don't just stand there gawping. Invite me in, it's very rude not to, oh and stop with the crying I didn't bring you up to be so weak."

Regina still wasn't sure what to say but she moved aside to allow her mother into the house. Regina felt relieved when Emma came flying down the stairs.

"Babe is -" Emma started before seeing Cora in her living room.

Emma went straight over to Regina putting her arm around her girlfriends waist in comfort and support, also a part of her wanted to show the queen of hearts that she wasn't afraid of her.

"Cora. What do you want?" Emma asked as she felt Regina shaking in her arm.

"Oh and nice to see you too Saviour..."

"Cora what the fuck do you want? Your daughter doesn't need any more stress in her life, especially not from you.” Emma's voice was getting higher, the angrier she became.

Cora stepped forward with a smirk seeing how hot headed the sheriff was becoming "I need your help with something Regina, a situation - Emma... calm down..." Cora started before the blonde snapped back.

"Excuse me? Calm down? CALM DOWN! I don't care why you're here, you're the reason why Gina is so... so angry at herself. She blames herself for almost everything that goes wrong. It's no wonder she has a hard time trusting people, when you were the one bringing her up in this world, when you were the one who continually made her feel like she was never good enough. You are the devil himself reincarnated."

“Why thank you dear.” Cora took another step forward and both her and Regina looked as shocked as each other to what Emma had just said, but shocked for different reasons.

Regina because no one had ever stood up to her mother in that way before and lived to tell the tale, however Cora was shocked because she was almost disgusted that anyone would talk to her in that way, and even more shocked as to why Regina hadn't killed the blonde who had just spoken to her in that disgusting manor.

Then Cora realized how Emma was standing next to her daughter.

It took the queen of hearts a few minutes to grasp the concept fully but when she did, both The Sheriff and the Mayor could see that Cora was about to lose it, and Emma immediately stood in front of her girlfriend feeling the need to protect Regina from Cora, which to be honest wasn't that unusual.

Even after a nightmare that Regina had of Cora, Emma still felt the need to protect her girlfriend from the one person that should have protected her growing up.

Cora took a deep breath before angrily asking "Are you two...t...together? as a couple? as in..."

and Cora turned to the sheriff "Are you dating my daughter Miss Swan?"

"Yes." Emma replied with no fear in her voice at all.

"Em..." Regina pushed her girlfriend aside gently. "Yes mother, myself and Emma are together, 3 months now if you must know. Now I know there's going to be some kind of problem, there always is with you, isn’t there? More importantly why would I help you?"

Regina looked her mother dead in the eyes, if she looked any harder she'd drill a hole through Cora's face.

The light brunette had a grin on her face "Well, there's no problem, more of a solution." 

The mayor could tell by her mother's grin that she was up to something "Mother what on earth are you talking about?" Cora looked to Emma and back to her daughter.

"I have a solution to your Snow and Charming problem. I can get their hearts for you and even make Henry accept this weird relationship."

Emma looked to Regina not really sure if she was going to go along with her mother or not, they may be a couple but that didn't stop Regina's hatred for Emma's parents, although Emma really wouldn't blame her at this point, she also hated her parents a hell of a lot right now, she just hoped that her girlfriends hatred wouldn't get the better of her and she would say no to Cora.

Emma may hate her parents but at the end of the day they're still her parents, and she loves them. Regina did take a few minutes to even answer but the answer was obvious from the start, she looked up at her mother with a frown. “I know what I want to do, the Evil part of me wants to say yes, but the me part, the good part knows what the right things to do is, so Mother I have to decline, this is my future mother and father-in-law you're talking about so no."

Cora looked at her daughter in absolute shock "What?! Are you serious? Maybe you should rethink this dear I-"

"No Mother, this is my decision. My choice. and I am sticking to it. Now please leave before I throw you through the window... and I will gladly throw you through that window." Regina replied as she crossed her arms standing tall next to her girlfriend.

Cora wasn't sure what to do or say, as her daughter hadn't spoken to her in this way since the day she sent her to wonderland. Cora took a deep breath “As you wish, but if you change your mind you know where to find me.” and with that Cora disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

* * *

As soon as the brunette knew her mother had gone, she just fell to the floor, tears falling fast down both her cheeks. Emma knelt down next to her girlfriend wrapping her arms round her and cradling her, refusing to let her go. Emma needed her to know she was safe with her, nothing bad was going to happen.

"It's okay...It's okay," Emma soothed, stroking the mayor's face and tucking her hair behind her ear.

"Babe...I am here, she won't hurt you I promise you that."

Regina just sobbed in her girlfriends arms "How? how can you promise me that? All those nightmares...I thought they were just that, but now I know they were trying to warn me."

"Gina you couldn't have known."

"But I should have listened to the nightmares." Regina cried, trying to remove herself from Emma's arms.

"No...I won't let you go, I promise you, nothing will happen she can't hurt you. You are so much stronger than you think, you're not your mother, you can make the right choices Gina and you always do." Emma whispered.

Regina suddenly got to her feet with Emma holding onto her, she turned to her girlfriend placing a quick kiss on her lips. "Emma, I'm... I am okay, for the first time in my life I actually don't want to hurt myself and I actually feel happy to be alive... Em I'm okay and I am going to be okay I'm going to survive this...my mother."

Emma had a massive grin on her face before she kissed her girlfriend on the forehead. "I'm proud of you... " the blonde put her hand on the side of the mayor's face."Hey How about we find something to watch on Netflix and have a takeout, your choice?" 

Regina couldn't help but smile "Date night?" 

"Of course." The blonde smiled back kissing Regina on the forehead and walking away to find some menus, she came back, Regina was now curled up on the sofa and Emma handed her a handful of Menus.

"I love you Gina." Emma grinned as she sat behind the mayor and holding Regina tight in her arms 

"I love you too Em... always and forever."

  
  
  
  



	10. Fear for a Queen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Are Regina's fear rational? Or is there really something going on with Emma?

Regina hadn’t seen her mother since that night, which had been about two months, which was a little concerning considering what her mother was like.

Regina also hadn’t heard from Emma in a couple days, well not her normal self, she couldn’t explain it there was something off with Emma, the messages she sent just didn’t feel like the woman she knows and loves, or maybe she was stressing over nothing, after all Emma was with her parents for the last few days.

They didn’t want Regina there, which at first it hurt but then she thought maybe it would be good for her girlfriend to have time with her family, without her being there.

Everyone in Regina's life had either died, or just left so that fear, that it would happen again grew when she didn’t hear from Emma, or felt like the blonde wasn’t herself, she just needed a gentle reassurance that everything would be okay and that Emma wasn’t going to leave her, she would stick by her through everything and that Emma loved the mayor like Regina loved the sheriff.

The brunette didn’t want to seem needy or clingy; she hated herself even more at the thought that she was, but for the first time in a long time she felt truly at home with Emma.

* * *

_ "Miss Swan, is everything okay?” _

Regina text her girlfriend not expecting an answer straight away but she received one with just a simple 

_ “Yeah”  _

Regina just thought,  **okay she doesn’t want to talk to me.**

The mayor felt a little hurt, but maybe Emma was just busy, she needed to learn not to worry about her not answering or her short answers, it was just Regina’s mind making things seem worse than they are, she just had to remind herself of that because she didn’t want to lose Emma over her fears that were very logically not real.

Regina sat in her office trying to keep herself busy with her work until she would hear from Emma, it was hours until Regina decided to message Emma. 

_ “Are you sure you’re okay? You’re awfully quiet? I’m worried.” _

_ “I’ve been quiet because I’ve been with family Gina, I’m okay. I love you.” _

Regina automatically felt bad  _ “Sorry.” _ Regina replied and just left it.

Suddenly it dawned on her how fucking ridiculous she was being.

Yes she wanted to talk to her girlfriend but she didn’t need to be joined at the hip. Sometimes Emma just like Regina needs to spend time with her family… but Henry and Emma are her only family, and Henry won’t even look at her let alone speak to her.

Regina felt hurt and alone.

* * *

A few hours later, the mayor arrived home and she decided to run herself a bath, she felt maybe it would help relax her after her little panic earlier in the day. Suddenly there was a loud knock at the door, the brunette still in her pantsuit padded her way down the stairs and answered it.

“Emma?” Regina smiled seeing her girlfriend standing at the front door.

“Hey...um... Can I come in?” Regina’s smile vanished quickly “Yeah.” Regina replied with little hesitation and moved aside. “W...what are you doing here Emma?” 

“I wanted to see you, I missed you today, I hope this is okay with you?” Emma smiled slightly.

“Perhaps.” Regina replied with an underlying grin.

Emma walked in and sat on the couch with Regina “I’m not going to apologize.”

“Okay. I never expected you to Emma, I’m the one that needs to apologize.”

“You do?” Emma questioned, she had never heard Regina apologize in this way before.

So this was new for them both.

“Yes...” Regina stood up suddenly pacing the floor “Yes... I need apologize, you were with your family, your parents, and I was expecting you to message me. You were busy; I can’t expect for you to drop everything and talk to me just because I’m having a bad day, I just missed you a lot, maybe more than I should. I try not to, but I can’t help it if I’m in love with you.”

“You’re in love with me?”

“Yes you idiot. And I guess I just miss how you were at the beginning of our relationship, you know? You’d message me all the time with dorky shit that made me laugh and I just feel I should understand that it can’t always be like that and overall I should definitely not expect that. So for expecting you to message me when you are busy and with your family, I am sorry Emma, and I just hope you can forgive me.”

“Regina... I...of course I can forgive you. I love you. Look at me...” Emma took Regina’s hands into her own. “I promise, if anything was wrong I would tell you, you know this. Please try not to worry.”

Regina couldn’t help but feel like an idiot but she just laughed. “Okay.”

* * *

Emma spent the night with Regina, having time together without upsetting her, but she had something to tell Regina, and she wasn’t sure how.

They had breakfast and then Emma decided it was time to tell her girlfriend what had happened.

Emma switched the kettle on, “Umm Gina, I...I need to tell you something.”

“What is it?” Regina replied, finishing up her fruit and greek yogurt, sitting up on the island in the kitchen.

“It’s about your mother...”

Regina froze, her spoon fell out her hand clattering on the side of the table and falling onto the floor with an even louder bang. “What - what about her?”

“Well she saw me yesterday, she asked me to break it off with you, which let me just say would never happen. I love you too much.”

“Wow. I knew she wouldn’t change... I knew it.” All of a sudden there was a loud smash behind Regina, the mayor had become so angry her magic flared up and she smashed the kitchen window behind her.

“Ahhh!” Emma screamed, jumping onto Regina’s back like a monkey.

“Sorry.” Regina told her girlfriend before standing up, (Emma had now jumped down) and putting her bowl in the dishwasher.

“It's uh... it's fine.” Emma laughed

“I’d feel the same, if it were my mother, in fact I do.”

“If we ever get married neither of our parents are coming, understood?” Regina stated and her girlfriend nodded in reply.

“Look, Emma, my mother, she tore out Daniel’s heart right in front of me, there is no saying what she will do to you if she gets the chance, I can’t lose you. My biggest fear right now is that she will take away yet another person that I love.” Regina said as she kept her composure.

“Gina, you don’t need to keep being strong when you feel like you’re going to cry, let yourself feel, you are not that heartless queen that everyone thinks you are. I know that, I know you...”

“Stop.” Regina replied with a shaky voice. “I am still that evil queen that wanted your mother dead for so long.”

“I don’t blame you.”

“Emma please just enough. She is still your mother and she didn’t deserve what I did to her and you know it, don’t kid yourself.”

Emma didn’t know exactly how to react, but she knew her girlfriend was right, she hated her parents right now, she had just spent a whole week with them and that was enough, the whole time her parents were telling her how bad Regina was for her, and that she was going to kill Emma to get to them.

Emma knew it was a whole load of bullshit, and that fact that her own parents, who let’s face it, did abandon Emma when she was born, when they could have tried to find another way, and to have their daughter back they have a very funny way of showing that they want Emma to stay in their lives.

The fact that the Charming's have even convinced Henry that Regina is bad for her, that was the last straw.

The last thing Emma told her parents before she left was  **“You are not my parents, my parents; my family would not do this.”** And she walked out the door not looking back.

“Maybe we should talk about this later.” Emma started becoming a little uncomfortable with the conversation at hand. She tried walking away, but Regina grabbed Emma’s arm stopping her.

“No, what’s going on? Talk to me. You’re always giving me a hard time about how I do not talk to you, well now it’s your turn. Did something happen with your parents Em?”

Emma stood still before whispering out a “Yes...”

Regina maneuvered Emma onto the seat next to her “You need to explain to me what happened exactly?” Emma took a deep breath before explaining.

“I told my mom I didn’t want her in my life, if she couldn’t accept you or us.”

“You stood up for me? To your parents?” 

“Of course.” Emma grinned “I love you.”

And so that was that. It was the first time in Regina’s life that she felt truly loved, she still had those underlying fears, but the love Emma showed her was stronger than any of her fears.


	11. Surprise marriage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm never good at summary's but, two years has passed since the last chapter, in this one you will find out if Emma truly cut out her parents.
> 
> There is going to be a lot more darkness with Regina and her mental state.
> 
> She relapses after two years, in a massive way.
> 
> Does Emma stick with Regina or leave? We all know the answer to this; I could never write a SwanQueen breakup fic.
> 
> It’s difficult for them but they find a way, they always do.
> 
> This is Emma and Regina we’re talking about

“What’s wrong Em?” Regina frowned walking into the kitchen and seeing the expression on her wife’s face.

“My parents, if that’s what I can even call them, they phoned me this morning.”

“Uh oh...”

“They want us over for dinner.”

“Dinner?! Dinner?! They haven’t spoken to you in over two years and now they want dinner?! What?! That’s insane!” Regina shrieked

“I know, I know, babe.” Emma sighed looking over at Regina, passing her the caramel iced coffee she had just picked up at Granny's for her before coming home.

Regina took a slurp of the coffee before answering “Thank you for the coffee darling, Em, you’re not a bad person for saying no to dinner with your parents.”

Emma looked up at Regina sheepishly

“Oh, hell no! You didn't! You said yes?! Please tell me you did not say yes?!”

“Maybe...”

“Have you completely lost your mind!?” Regina shrieked

“Regina...” Emma pleaded for some understanding.

“No, no...Absolutely not. I’m not going.”

“Babe, pleaseeeee.” Emma whined like she was a 4 year old who wanted sweets but Mummy had said no.

Regna went and stood directly in front of her wife with her arms folded. “I told you I'm not going and that’s final.”

Emma went and walked behind her wife, wrapping her arms around her “Pleaseeeeee.” Emma whined again.

“Miss. Swan” Regina purposefully used her wife’s maiden name, it usually won her favours later in the bedroom “...you can be as cute as you like I’m not going.”

Emma unwrapped her arms and made her way round to look Regina in her beautiful dark brown orbs, knowing that she would have no other choice but to comply and go for dinner; Emma gave her wife the best puppy dog eyes she could muster, along with a little wobbling pout.

Regina looked down at Emma being absolutely adorable, trying her hardest not to cave, but she wouldn’t last for much longer.

The brunette still had her arms folded and as she looked down at the pout, and more importantly the puppy dog eyes, she felt herself crumbling, it was the one thing she could never ignore.

Finally Regina let her arms fall to her side

“That’s not fair! You know I can’t resist that pout and those fucking eyes of yours.”

“You can punish me later.” Emma smirked

Regina held Emma’s chin, between her thumb and the knuckle of her index finger “Oh I intend to do just that dear.”

Emma just looked at Regina knowing that she herself had just given Regina a challenge and her determined wife would most definitely follow through with it.

“Fine, when do we need to be there?” Regina asked with a little grin appearing in the corners of her mouth.

“Half an hour.”

“HALF AN HOUR?!” Regina shouted.

Emma nodded, showing a toothy grin

“Okay, okay, maybe I’ll wear one of my Evil Queen outfits -“

“No!”

“Ohhhh, Why not?” Regina grumbled.

“Because, my mother will have a fucking heart attack.”

“Fine, fine, fun sucker.” Regina pouted as she went upstairs, disappearing from Emma’s sight.

* * *

“You ready Gina?” Emma asked as she put on her red leather jacket and stood by the front door waiting for her wife.

“Do I have to do this?”

“If you want to ‘punish me’ later then yes, you do. It’s all going to be okay my love.”

Regina was wearing one of her usual pant suits, and Emma was just wearing a tank top, jeans, boots and her red leather jacket, after all it was just dinner with Emma's parents, nothing more.

Emma grabbed her wife’s hand, pressed her lips hard against Regina’s before breaking “Come on, sweetheart. It’s time.” And with that the both of them made their way out the mansion and down the main street of storybrooke, hand in hand until they reached the loft.

“Hey, it’s going to be just fine.” Emma gave Regina’s hand a reassuring squeeze.

“I hope so.” Regina sighed, before knocking at the door three times.

Snow white opened the door and her face changed from a smile upon seeing Emma to a frown when she noticed Regina “What’s she doing here? We invited you for dinner, not her.”

“Mom, please, if you want me here, Regina comes with me, we are a package deal and if you don’t like it well, tough shit I’m afraid.”

Regina couldn’t help but smile inwardly, even though all she wanted to do was run home and find the sharpest blade she could, lock herself in the bathroom and press the blade hard down on her upper thigh, but she stayed strong, standing by Emma’s side, because whenever Emma sticks up for her it still makes her heart swell inside her chest.

Snow took a few seconds before agreeing to Emma’s terms and stepping aside “I guess you should come in then.”

“We’re just ordering take-out, hope that’s okay.” David says before taking down everyone’s order as Emma and Regina sat on the couch, continuing to hold hands.

“Okay, I’ll be right back.” Snow smiled, taking the list and money from David and walking out the loft to go pick up the food and leaving just David, Emma and Regina together.

“So you bought her?” David growled as he grabbed a beer and a cider from the fridge passing them both to Emma, and Emma passed the cider to Regina.

“Yes I bought Regina, we come as a package deal Dad if you can’t accept that, then I can go another 28 years without talking to you, I managed it perfectly well the first time around.” Emma snapped as she took a swig of the beer.

“Look Emma...” David pulled up a chair to face his daughter and sat down “We love you and we want you in our lives but...” David took a sharp inhale of breath “Your mother and I don’t think she’s good for you, you deserve better than the evil queen.”

Emma slowly placed the beer bottle on the table and stood up“Well here’s the thing, she’s my wife and I will do anything for her and plus you haven’t spoken to me in over two years! Why the fuck would you give a shit now?” Emma shouted before she felt a tug at her sleeve from Regina and she sat back down.

“Y-you’re married?” David frowned just as his own wife walked back in with the food placing it on the table.

“Did you say you’re married?” Snow frowned unpacking the food.

“Yes! For goodness sake, Emma proposed to me a year ago, I said yes and we were married within two months, no we didn’t tell you because you were ignoring your family and being very disrespectful to your own daughter!” Regina lost it as she held up her hand showing off the beautiful silver wedding rings on her finger.

“Baby, breath. Come here.” Emma pulled a trembling Regina in for a tight hold against her body.

“We wouldn’t have needed to ignore our daughter if she had just broken up with you like we asked her in the first goddamn place Regina. This is all because of you!” Snow snapped

“No. Mom, this is because of you, you let your hatred for my wife rule your head, which made you stop talking to me. You have no one to blame but yourself, now unless you have something else to do we're going to go.”

“No, wait.” Snow walked over to Regina kneeling in front of her “I know you’re secret Regina and we both know I can’t keep secrets...”

“Mom are you threatening my wi-“

Regina held up her hand stopping Emma from talking “What secret is it that I have then Snow White?”

Snow grabbed Regina’s wrists and pushed up her sleeves “These scars Regina, they are self inflicted you were hurting yourself, although I see no knew fresh cuts, so maybe you’ve just become more secretive.”

“STOP!” Regina shouted standing up right “You cow. It’s none of your god damn business and you have no right to talk to me about my pain...pain that you caused.” Regina shook her head before looking at Emma “I’m sorry, babe, I...I can’t...” Regina trembled before pushing Snow out the way and walking abruptly from the room slamming the door, just about stopping herself from crying until she was outside the loft.

“Oh, well done mother, if your goal was to lose me permanently...” Emma set her beer and the cider that Regina threw at her before she left, onto the table “You’ve succeeded.”

Emma stood up walking out the loft leaving her parents calling after her but they did not follow.

“Regina?” Emma frowned, seeing that Regina was nowhere in sight “Regina? This isn’t funny.” Emma asked, concern lacing her voice. Seeing that her wife was certainly nowhere in sight, Emma panicked fearing the worst and she ran off outside and down main street, heading back to the mansion.

“REGINA?!” Emma screamed entering the mansion “Regina? Baby? Please don’t so anything stupid! Please!” Emma’s voice echoed through the house before she heard something that made her heart stop.

**Running water.**

To most people, running water would just be for someone taking a bath. Nothing unusual about it, right?

However Regina hasn’t taken a bath on her own in over two years, not after the last incident where Regina cut so deep, Emma found her in a bath bleeding out and the brunette was rushed to hospital.

Emma ran up those stairs as fast as she could and into the bathroom “NO! NO! NO, NO, NO, NO!” Emma cried, pulling her wife from the bathtub.

The blonde couldn’t believe after two years, Regina had done it again, hurt herself in the bath, except there was little water this time, just the blood left, and now sitting on the floor in Emma’s arms there was blood pouring from open, fresh cuts on her wrists, thighs and stomach.

“Regina? Why? Why would you do this?” Emma sobbed, holding her wife close and pressing on Regina’s thighs and stomach.

“I...I...your mother...” Regina gasped, falling in and out of consciousness.

“Regina...why listen to her now? After everything?”

“Because...” Regina croaked “She’s right, she can’t keep secret’s her knowi-“

“Regina?! Regina?!” Emma screamed, shaking Regina as she fell completely unconscious.

Emma wrapped Regina up in a towel and scooped her up in her arms, the blonde quickly carried Regina out from the mansion and into her bug placing the brunette in the passenger seat.

Emma ran round to the driver’s side and quickly fired up the bug and headed to the hospital “Hold on Regina... Please hold on, sweetheart. Come on.”

Emma finally arrived at the hospital only just stopping outside as she was driving way over the speed limit, she carried her wife in screaming for a doctor, and within seconds Regina was rushed off into surgery.

* * *

Regina had been in surgery for at least two hours before Dr. Franklin came out to find Emma “Mrs. SwanMills?” Dr Franklin asked looking around the waiting room.

“Oh me, that’s me!” Emma stood up quickly, her face red a blotchy from crying “Is...Is uhh, is she - will my wife be -”

Emma couldn’t quite get her words out, but the doctor just smiled at her “She’s fine, your wife is going to be just fine, would you like to see her now?”

“Yes please. If I can?” Emma frowned, with a glimpse of a smile.

“Follow me. She’s just starting to wake up now.” Dr. Franklin walked Emma through to where Regina was, in a private room and as the doctor had said, Regina was indeed just starting to wake up “Call if you need anything.” The doctor smiled sweetly, before walking away and leaving Emma and Regina alone.

Emma pulled up a seat next to Regina’s bed and sat down, grabbing the mayor’s hands into her own “Gina? Gina? Sweetie?” Emma whispered so as not to startle her wife.

“Hi.” Regina croaked, before she turned away from her wife, she felt so ashamed.

“Hey...none of that now.” Emma smiled bringing Regina’s face back to look at her “I know...I know why you did it, but I wish you had of talked to me sweetheart, I’m your wife.”

“And she’s your mother and the reason I did this again. After two fucking years Em, what does that make me?” Regina sobbed.

“It makes you Regina SwanMills, an amazing woman and my wife who is in a lot of pain and still struggles with how to deal with her emotions, because this is the only way you have ever known how to cope Regina and that’s okay, one day you will get to a place where you don’t feel like you have to do this. I promise.” Emma smiled as she leaned over and kissed Regina’s forehead. (Forehead kisses are something Regina would never admit that she loved more than anything other type of kiss.)

“How do you still have so much faith in me?”

“Because I know you have the strength in you. Regina you just need to believe you have it too.” Emma smiled “Want me to lie down next to you Madam Mayor, who absolutely doesn’t like snuggles?” Emma teased.

Regina just poked out her lip in a pout “Shut up. And yes please.”

So at that, with the request of her queen, Emma wasted no time at all in getting in the bed next to her wife and pulling Regina into a tight hold, rubbing a soothing hand up and down the mayor's back. “I love you Regina, I couldn’t bare to lose you. It would kill me.”

“I’m sorry.” Regina whispered “I should have spoken to you.”

“Yes, you should have but we can talk about this later, please get some sleep for now.”

“Don’t divorce me!” Regina said quickly.

“Hey, hey, hey...” Emma ran her fingers through Regina’s hair, in a soothing manner “I’m not going anywhere baby, I would never divorce you, I’m staying right here, now sleep sweetheart.”

* * *

Regina had to spend three days in hospital under observation, mainly to make sure she was no longer a risk to herself.

As soon as Emma arrived home with her wife, she doted on her hand a foot, which for Regina was a little hard to accept, but she knew she had to try at least. She did try; she wasn’t going to let anything stop her from trying.

“Emma? What if your Mother tells everyone?” Regina frowned, with worry.

“Then we will deal with it. But sweetheart, you need to talk to me, because I know what you’re thinking.” Emma sighed, sitting on the end of the couch and lifting Regina’s legs onto her lap.

“Oh? And what am I thinking, darling?” Regina raised an eyebrow at her wife.

“You’re thinking you want to go into that bathroom, pick up a blade and press down and drag it across your skin.” Emma said as if it was the most normal thing in the world, however in this house it was their new normality.

“I hate you.”

“No you don’t.”

“No I don’t.” Regina smiled a little.

“We will be okay, you know that?”

“I know, I just if your mother saying what she said sends me into such a downward spiral, how am I ever going to cope with anything again?” Regina questioned, unsure of how she really would cope with her emotions and pain, especially if Emma was going to be keeping a careful watch on her from now on.

Emma had made sure Regina took the next month off work completely and even though Regina put up a big fight on the matter, in the end Emma won, by telling her  _ ‘I could of lost you and I don’t want to worry that, that’s going to happen whilst you’re at work’ _ and that for Regina was enough to make her re-think it all. She agreed to take the month off, she wasn’t happy about it but if it would make her wife worry less, then that’s all that mattered in the end.

“Oh Regina, my love...” Emma moved up the couch so she was closer to her wife, the blonde cupped Regina’s face in her hand “You will cope. You will, we will cope, do you know why?”

Regina just shook her head, staring at Emma with such desperation in her dark brown eyes.

“Because you have me, sweetheart, you always will and that is never going to change.”

“You promise?” Regina asked, with a genuine fear that Emma may not stick around.

“Yes! I promise you.” Emma grabbed Regina’s face gently between her hands “Regina SwanMills, you are the love of my fucking life, you are my everything, I would be incredibly stupid if I left you, which by the way is never going to happen, not as long as I live. I love you too much baby. You are my world and If I lost you I think it might just kill me.” Emma sighed, feeling the tears pricking her eyes.

“I love you too Em, and I’m sorry for everything, I know I’m failing you.” Regina began to sob.

“No, no, you’re not failing me, you are just trying to work out how to control your emotions without going down a darker path and that’s okay. I will be here to help you through it no matter how long that takes.”

Emma then curled up pulling her wife into a tight hold, and giving her kisses as often as she could, she was beside herself with how happy she was, and just feeling incredibly thankful that her wife was alive and she never wanted to let her go again. “I love you Gina.”

“I love you too, Em.” Regina replied sleepily, before falling asleep in her wife’s arms.


	12. It wasn't me this time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love and Evil are so similar, what will someone become to get someone they love back? Will they become evil?

> ** A/N1: Just a warning their are some triggering scenes in this. So if self harm, and someone being attacked will trigger you don't read. **   
>  ** - **
> 
> ** Dt: For my bestfriend T, who keeps me motivated in writing this story and constantly tells me how much she loves my writing! **
> 
> ** A/N2: **
> 
> _Italic: Characters internal thoughts_
> 
> **Bold: Flashback**
> 
> * * *
> 
> The crunching of leaves underneath the walking footsteps of Emma SwanMills woke Regina from her deep sleep. She wasn’t much of a sleeper these days however she had started to sleepwalk, her night terrors in the last few months had come back, it was a scary time she was dreaming about her mother whom no one had heard from in almost 2 years. It was like she had just vanished; fallen off the face of the earth. Regina wasn’t stupid though; she knew that her mother disappearing meant it was only a matter of time before she resurfaced and that meant **_trouble_ **. 
> 
> They needed to be prepared for whatever she had planned and she wasn’t the only one they had to be prepared for. Cora was evil, conniving, disturbed, and a very nasty and dark hearted woman but Emma’s parents? 
> 
> They were a different kind of nasty. They loved Emma there was no denying that but that is what made them so dangerous and it’s what makes anyone who loves someone like Emma’s parents love their family and friends, it’s what makes people horribly dangerous. The fear of losing someone, especially a child; a child they have already lost before, that fear is so great that they would be willing to do anything to get her back. 
> 
> Only one problem. Emma had a true hatred in her heart against them now, so getting her back wouldn’t be that easy and if they wanted her back, they would have to accept Regina into their life as well, it wouldn’t just be Emma and Henry any longer. 
> 
> It would be Emma, Henry and Regina. They were a family; they came as a package; came together. Snow White and Charming would have to accept that if they wanted their daughter back into their life again. There was no getting around it. That’s how it would be, no escaping the fate of Regina being part of the family. Because whether they liked it or not, she was part of the family, Emma and Regina were married, so that makes her family, even if it wasn’t what the charming’s wished for, it was fact. 
> 
> “Regina?” Emma knelt down beside her wife who was shivering on the front lawn, wearing nothing but a tank top and underwear, Emma covered her with a warm blanket. 
> 
> It was November and there was thick frost on the ground, it was in minus temperatures and luckily Emma had come home from her night shift when she did. Regina was shivering and her body was as cold as ice and she looked extremely pale, God knows how long she had been laying on the ground almost freezing to death. 
> 
> “Regina? Regina? C’mon sweetheart, wake up...” Emma brushed Regina’s hair out of her face and traced her fingers down the side of her face, and it took a few minutes but Regina eventually began waking up. 
> 
> “Emma? What -” Regina frowned as she slowly sat up, and upon seeing where she was shook her head “Why am I outside? How long have I been outside?” 
> 
> “I don’t know love, I just got home and I saw you laying here. I went and grabbed a blanket and came back out and here we are.” Emma replied “Maybe you were sleepwalking again?” 
> 
> “Maybe - I mean – I don’t know -” Regina sighed, shaking as Emma wrapped her arms around her. 
> 
> “Come on, let's get you inside and warmed up.” 
> 
> Regina nodded in agreement as she let Emma pick her up bridal style and carry her back into the house. She placed Regina on the couch and turned on the fire hoping to warm her up quicker. “Regina... what’s happening with you?” Emma asked as she sat beside her wife. 
> 
> “W-what do you mean?” Regina shivered.
> 
> “I mean the sleep walking and the night terrors that you’re having again and I mean...” Emma grabbed Regina’s arm gently “This...” Emma frowned looking down at her wife’s scarred arm “Wait a moment, is this a new cut?” 
> 
> Regina immediately pulled her arm away, turning away from Emma. “No.” 
> 
> “Don’t lie to me Regina, I’m the one person you can’t lie to and you know it. I have a super power remember?” 
> 
> “I know.” Regina sighed as she turned back, looking Emma in the eyes “I’m sorry, okay?” 
> 
> “Show me.” Emma said gently, for Regina whenever she self-harmed she never cut only once, she always cut herself multiple times. 
> 
> “Do I have to?” Regina asked .
> 
> “No, no you don’t but I would like to check how deep they are and to make sure there isn’t an infection.” 
> 
> “You don’t trust that I can do it?” Regina asked.
> 
> “That’s not the case at all Regina and you know it, last time you did it yourself you -” 
> 
> “They became infected I know!” Regina snapped, before taking a breath “Okay, fine you can look, let's go up to the bathroom in case you feel you need to re-do them.” 
> 
> Emma sighed as she followed Regina up the stairs, and into the bathroom “Regina, you know I love you and I just worry, after last time I don’t want them to get infected again.” 
> 
> “I know but I’m fine.” 
> 
> “You’re fine? Right. Regina you’ve almost died twice and I can’t lose you. I just want you to be safe, that's why I want to see them to make sure you’re going to be okay.” 
> 
> “I know, I do know that it’s because you want me safe but I still feel ashamed that you have to take care of me for something I did to myself.” Regina replied. 
> 
> Emma walked up to her wife, kissing her gently and then holding Regina’s face between her hands “I married you for a reason Regina, I love you okay? For better for worse.” 
> 
> Regina nodded as Emma removed her hands “Okay.” 
> 
> “Right then, when you’re ready.” Emma said as she leaned against the bathroom wall. 
> 
> Regina took a breath before letting her blanket fall from her shoulders. 
> 
> Emma had to take her own breath upon seeing the fresh cuts on her wife’s body. It was a shock; it was getting worse and more dangerous. Emma was terrified for Regina’s safety. 
> 
> “Gina...” Emma frowned worriedly, as she knelt down in front of the brunette who was standing up, and Emma traced a couple of her fingers lightly over Regina fresh cuts “Oh babe... what happened? W-” 
> 
> “My mother and your mother turned up, Okay? Happy? Now you know what fucking happened!” Regina cried. 
> 
> Emma froze in the spot she was in. _My mother and your mother turned up._
> 
> Those words rung in her head. Emma in the moment all she wanted to do was go and find her mother. “I’m going to kill her.” Emma sounded cold and dark with her words, this wasn’t Emma, but she was angry at the woman who was meant to care about her, she expected this from Cora but even after everything her mother had done, she didn’t expect her to do this. 
> 
> “Emma, no. She doesn’t deserve that.” Regina said before flinching as Emma touched a deeper cut. 
> 
> “Sorry sweetheart, I think I need to just sort this one cut out but the rest look nicely cleaned.” Emma smiled as she grabbed the first aid kit and began cleaning her wife’s wounds. “ So, are you going to tell me what happened?” 
> 
> “Why? You’d never believe me!” Regina said softly.
> 
> “What are you on about? Why wouldn’t I?” 
> 
> “Because I did it to myself in the past and you think these cuts are ones I did myself because I am known to do it, why would you take my word that I didn’t?” 
> 
> Emma frowned as she finished cleaning up the cuts, and patched her up gently. She didn’t say anything. Emma stayed silent as she and Regina walked slowly back to their bedroom and she sat Regina on the edge of the bed. “Regina? Are you telling me these fresh cuts aren’t self-inflicted?” 
> 
> “Would you even believe me?” Regina asked as she threw herself back onto the bed so she was laying down and so her head was on the pillow. 
> 
> Emma didn’t have to take any time to answer “Of course I’d believe you. I trust you because I know you would tell me the truth, plus I can always tell when you’re lying.” 
> 
> Regina grabbed the pillow next to her and cover her face as she let out an aggravated groan “Arrrrggggghhhhhhh !” 
> 
> Emma watched her wife groan and tried holding back her laugh which was a struggle. “Gina? You okay?” 
> 
> “Uhu!” Regina threw the pillow across the room and sat up looking at Emma “You might actually murder your mother when you find out what happened.” Regina groaned again, as she watched Emma’s face, Regina was trying to work out what Emma was going to do upon hearing what had happened whilst she was at work last night. 
> 
> “Why - Will I want to kill your mother too?” 
> 
> Regina paused “Umm, it’s - it’s a likely, a highly likely possibility.” 
> 
> “Talk to me Gina. What did they do?” 
> 
> Regina took a nice deep breath as she went on to explain what happened after Emma had left for work last night. 
> 
> * * *
> 
> **“Be safe!” Regina called out to her wife as Emma got into her bug and drove off to work for the first night shift in over a month. Regina was feeling a little anxious at this point, she was also missing Henry a lot, but Henry didn’t want to see her so Ruby and Belle had offered to look after him for as long as was needed.**
> 
> **Regina made herself some coffee, and sat herself in front of the T.V she had promised Emma not to do any paperwork and to just relax, and she had every intention of doing so.**
> 
> **Not 20 minutes had gone by since Emma had left for work when there was a loud knock at the door. Regina put her coffee on the table in front of her and stood up, walking over to the front door and opened it.**
> 
> **In the next moment Regina was thrown against the wall by her own mother and held there choking as her mother looked into her own eyes with such coldness .**
> 
> **“M-mother!!” Regina choked “W- wh -”**
> 
> **“Save your breath dear, we’re not going to kill you, just torture you a little.” Cora smirked, removing her hands from Regina’s throat and moving them to her shoulders to keep her up against the wall, Cora then looked over her own shoulder and slow footsteps approached.**
> 
> **Regina knew that smell, she always wore this disgustingly sweet perfume and wore too much of it. “Snow. White.” Regina growled trying to wiggle out of her mother’s hold.**
> 
> **“Regina.” Snow smirked as she came into Regina’s eye line.**
> 
> **“So, this is the level that you’ve lowered yourself to? Teaming up with my mother to torture me? Why? You know doing this will just darken your heart and that hole will just grow and grow -”**
> 
> **“Shut up!” Snow growled “Because I really don’t care how dark it grows if it means getting Emma back.”**
> 
> **Regina just chuckled, covering for how scared she really was “You think Emma wants you in her life after the crap you’ve pulled?” Regina shook her head “And tell me how exactly you plan on getting my wife back in your life.”**
> 
> **“By using your secret against you.” Snow replied, pulling out a knife from behind her back. “Once Emma see’s you're getting worse, she’ll leave you and never come back and she’ll come running back into my arms. I mean you’ve already lost Henry, soon enough you’ll lose Emma too. She won’t put up with your shit for long. You are still the Evil Queen in my eyes and nothing will change that even if Emma can’t see it.”**
> 
> **“You’re the whole fucking reason I became evil! If you hadn’t of told my mother -”**
> 
> **“The stable boy?” Cora cackled “He would have ruined you.”**
> 
> **“I loved him. But I love Emma now, just as much as I loved him. Neither of you will take that away from me!” Regina kicked her mother in the stomach, and although Cora was very nearly knocked to the ground, she managed to keep her feet firmly on the floor and kept Regina firm against the wall.**
> 
> **“You can’t knock me down Regina.” Cora smirked maliciously as she stood up right.**
> 
> **Everyone stayed silent for a few minutes. Regina spoke first “So what’s it going to be Snow? You going to stab me with that knife?”**
> 
> **“In a manner of speaking.”**
> 
> **“How will you stab me in a manner of speaking? You will either stab me or you won’t.”**
> 
> **“True. But I won’t be stabbing you, as I said before I’ll be using your secret against you.” Snow smirked as she walked towards Regina, standing close enough that their noses were almost touching.**
> 
> **Snow used the knife and tore the material of Regina’s top down the middle ripping it from her body. She then made a small cut under Regina’s bra.**
> 
> **“You think that hurt me? Snow I have inflicted more pain on myself than you care to know! You’re going to have to do better than that. You’re weak. Henry always said you’d never be able to hurt anyone, not really and he’s right, you can’t even hurt me properly!” Regina taunted Snow with her words, it may have been a way to cover how she was really feeling but it was the one thing her mother was able to teach her. Never show your weakness or your emotions.**
> 
> **“You’re learning Regina.” Cora spoke, and only Regina and Cora knew what she was speaking about.**
> 
> **“I’m not weak, you’re weak and Emma deserves better than you.” Snow snapped, cutting Regina on her stomach a lot deeper than last time which led Regina to whimper, holding back a scream.**
> 
> **“You - you’ve made your point Snow.” Regina whimpered.**
> 
> **“You would like that wouldn’t you. Thing is I’m not quite finished with you Regina.” Snow smirked as she cut Regina a few more times on her stomach, deeper than the time before.**
> 
> **Regina whimpered and cried out with each cut, even if she tried not to, the pain was a lot to conceal. She wasn’t doing it to herself so it was a completely different kind of pain.**
> 
> **“Okay, I think this will do. Don’t want to overdo it now, do I?” Snow said as she started putting the knife away.**
> 
> **Cora snatched the knife out of Snow’s hand “Remember what I told you, Emma needs to think she did it to herself.”**
> 
> **Cora grabbed her daughter's wrist “Hold her still.”**
> 
> **Snow pushed Regina onto the ground, kneeing her in the rips as Regina howled out something awful. The screams that came from that house that night were awful. Earth-shattering and unfortunately, Cora had her magic so she had been able to put a sound proof spell on the mansion.**
> 
> **“No! No! Please, please stop! Please!” Regina cried out as she tried wriggling out of Snow’s grip, her thoughts were right back to when Leopold would hold her down, and force himself on her “No! No! Get off me! Get off me!” Regina kept repeating as she was continuing to wriggle out of their grasp.**
> 
> **Snow kept her still as Cora held out her daughter’s wrist**
> 
> **“Do it! Or was I wrong to trust you with this?”** **Cora** **snarled.**
> 
> **“You can trust me.” Snow responded taking the knife from Cora, continuing to keep her full weight on top of Regina, stopping her from moving or wriggiling.**
> 
> **Snow was holding the knife firmly in her hand, wrapping her fingers tightly around the handle, and cutting Regina’s lower arm in a deep and lengthy slice. She cut her twice, before letting her bleed for a little bit.**
> 
> **Cora then knocked her daughter unconscious and with her magic, cast a spell making sure Regina wouldn’t bleed out, just that she would be a little bit weak when she awoke.**
> 
> **They removed her top and trousers and moved her to the front lawn, and threw her down, bloodying up her nose a little but not enough for Emma to see when she saw Regina. Cora gave her daughter a kick on the stomach before undoing the spell on the house and walking away with Snow, leaving Regina on the cold and frosted ground.**
> 
> * * *
> 
> Half way through Regina’s explanation of what had happened, Emma had begun pacing the room unsure of what to make of it. As much as it despised her to her core Snow was still her mother and Emma still loved her even if she hated her, it unfortunately for Emma, it didn’t take away the love she felt. It was like having this string from her own heart that connected to her mother's heart, that nothing was strong enough to be able to cut through. 
> 
> “Emma? Em?” Regina frowned sitting cross legged on the end of the bed, continuing to watch her wife pace their bedroom “Please say something. Anything” Regina asked with concern now lacing her voice. 
> 
> Emma stopped abruptly, slowly turning on her heels and looking up at Regina “You’re telling me that my mother and your mother who suddenly after two years made an appearance, teamed up to hurt you to get me back? That’s what you’re telling me?” Emma asked with a fearful look in her eye.
> 
> “Well...yeah...?” Regina replied.
> 
> “You’re insane! My mother -” 
> 
> “Your mother was right.” Regina sighed “She told me you wouldn’t believe me and here you are calling me insane because after all there’s only one possibility, right? That I did this to myself! That’s the only explanation, I must be lying?” Regina looked at Emma waiting for an answer but when none came, she stood up and looked at her “You’re my wife. I thought you’d believe me, you said you would always believe me.” Regina let the tears fall as she ran from the room. 
> 
> Emma chased after her “Regina wait! No, I -” Emma’s calls wouldn’t be heard though as Emma watched her wife disappear in a cloud of purple smoke. It was unusual for Regina to use magic these days, only when she felt she needed to or when her emotions were out of control. 
> 
> Emma was fuming at herself and she was still learning about having magic, but suddenly the windows and lightbulb smashed from her anger. 
> 
> She was going to kill her mother and Cora if she managed to get her hands on them. They hurt Regina, and now Regina thought Emma didn’t believe her but that was the furthest thing from the truth.


	13. The portal opens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina is attacked.
> 
> Snow is missing.
> 
> Regina does a potion.
> 
> and Emma is pushed into a portal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so, I had a message about the last chapter I would like to address. You thought that it was out of character etc. but here's the thing two years have passed so actually there is such a thing a character devolvement. At the end of the day I write for me, not anyone else. I mean I love that people want to read my fics, but if you don't like it, why bother reading? It's pointless. Don't be an ass about it.

Emma was fuming, she needed to find Regina but she was so angry at her mother she went right to her parent's door hammering and shouting as loud as she was able to “MOM! OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!” 

The door soon swung open “Emma, keep your voice down.” her father asked calmly as he stood in front of his daughter. 

“Where is Mom?” 

“I don’t know -” 

“Dad, don’t lie to me.” 

“I’m not I swear, I haven’t seen her in a week, no one has.” 

“What?” Emma frowned, unsure of what to make of the situation it just seemed to become more complex by the minute. “Well, why didn’t you tell me?” Emma asked. 

David stood aside to let his daughter in and closed the door behind her “Why didn’t I tell you?” David chuckled quietly. 

“Yes, Mom’s been missing for a week and you didn’t think to tell me?” Emma argued, throwing up her hands. 

“Emma, the last time either of us saw you, you told us you hated us, why would I tell someone who hates us?” 

“Yes, because you both were verbally attacking my wife, but she’s still my Mom! For God’s sake.” 

“Maybe you should ask that evil witch of a wife of yours.” David snapped back. 

“Excuse me?” Emma’s anger was growing by the second and her magic was now making the window shutter’s shake and the doors rattle. “My so-called Mother teamed up with Cora and attacked my wife so don’t you dare! Don't you even go there!” Emma took a breath before she continued “You want to know who the real monsters are?” 

“Sure, enlighten me why don’t you.” David replied sarcastically 

“Look in the mirror.” Emma said coldly before she left to go and find Regina. 

It had been two years that Regina had gone not Self Harming, but with her recent relapse Emma was terrified of what she might do especially as Regina thinks that Emma didn’t believe her, especially when she opened up to telling her this time, the truth that she didn’t hurt herself. 

_ What if she’s dying and bleeding out somewhere?  _

Emma’s mind was going to the worst possible conclusion, I mean who could blame her really? After almost losing her wife more than once, she was frantic with worry . 

Emma just ran through the streets of Storybrooke and then through the woods to the only place she knew for certain that Regina would be. The place where Regina keeps all her magic, Emma saw the door was slightly ajar and so she pushed her way in calling out for her wife, hoping to god she was still alive “Regina? Regina?” Emma’s voice carried through the walls of the Vault. 

“Down here!” Regina’s voice echoed back. 

Emma followed the sound of her wife’s voice and found her on the lowest floor of the vault, and she was making some kind of potion. “Hey, what’cha doin’?” Emma smiled. 

“Miss. Swan, what an unpleasant surprise” 

“Back to Miss. Swan, are we? That’s not fair Regina.” 

“Oh? You’re the one who when I tell you that your mother and my mother attacked me, you didn’t believe me and to top it off you thought I did it to myself. I didn’t by the way, and I bet when you came down here you thought I had hurt myself?” 

Emma took a deep breath looking over at Regina who hadn’t even lifted her head from the cauldron 

“Well Em -ma. Am I wrong?” 

“No, I mean yes – I mean. Look yes, I came down here thinking that you had hurt yourself that much is true but Regina I never, not for one moment thought that you were lying to me.” Emma replied, holding her breath slightly as she waited for a reply from Regina. 

Regina poured in the last of the ingredients and then put the glass bottle down as she looked slowly up at Emma, not saying a word not even breathing. This was when in Emma’s highest opinion Regina was at her scariest, because anything could happen when she was silently angry. 

“Umm, Gina?” Emma questioned gently. 

Regina just stood watching Emma for a few moments before answering calmly, or what seemed to be calm on the outside “Then why didn’t you say anything?” 

“Because I was scared, in shock and confused. Regina, you’d just told my own mother hurt you and as much as I hate my mother, I didn’t want this to be true.” 

All of sudden the cauldron began bubbling over and turning a nasty shade of red “Well, you’re right on that part. She didn’t do it...” 

“What? What do you mean she didn’t do it?” 

“Well she did, but she was under a spell. An extremely strong spell that my Mother has put her under… for snow to do Cora’s bidding. Anything Cora wants from Snow, Cora gets. I wouldn’t wish this spell on the devil himself.” 

“Regina...” Emma walked over to her wife, pulling at her shoulders so Regina was facing her “What the hell are you talking about?” 

Regina took a breath “When is the last time someone actually saw your Mom?” 

“Well, actually, Dad said he hasn’t seen her in about a week. I saw him just before I arrived here.” 

“A week? Oh god, that explains it.” 

“Regina! Baby, you gotta talk to me in a language I’m gonna understand. I’m not well versed in magic remember! ” 

Regina looked at Emma seriously “Okay, in simple terms my mother has cast one of the most dangerous spells known to man, woman, child, dwarf, elf, fairy you name it. Emma, it takes at least five days to start working on the person it’s been cast on, it could kill her. This is all my fault. I need to do something -” 

“Regina, this isn’t your fault but we have to save her. She’s still my Mom! How did you know about the spell anyway? ” 

“The potion, your Mom dug her nails into me and part of her nail had stayed in my skin and I used that to find out if your mom was under a spell or not and...” Regina’s legs seemed to just give way and she fell to the ground still gripping tightly to the countertop next to her, trembling, almost throwing up. 

“Regina? Regina? What is it?” Emma kneeled in front of her wife terrified of what was to come. 

“Wait - wait – when does Henry arrive back from his exchange visit to England? By the way I still can’t believe you convinced me to let him go on that.” 

“He’s 15 Regina, and in about three weeks, why?” 

“Good. Umm, I need you to do something for me and I need you to trust me on it.” 

“What is it?” 

“I need you to get my mother’s spell book and I need you to get Gold, Ruby, Zelena , Belle and your Dad together at the well.” 

Emma frowned “Can I ask something?” 

Regina nodded simply. 

“Where’s the spell book? And do you think it’s wise putting Belle and Gold and Zelena in a close proximity as one another after Belle left him for your sister?” Emma smirked. 

“Spell book, is the place you first met me, I don’t mean where we first met but -” 

“Oh Regina, you don’t mean the Enchanted Forest? You want me to go back there?” 

“I put a spell on the book, making it so only you and you alone would be able to find it, but once you touch it the spell shall be lifted. Gold, Belle and Zelena will all behave when I tell them what is at stake.” 

“You think they’ll behave over my mother’s life?” 

“Emma, don’t you get it?” Regina grabbed her wife’s face holding her firm between her hands “It’s not just her life! It’s all of us! WE COULD ALL DIE! Now please I need you to get the book.” 

“Come with me.” 

“Emma, I can’t, you know I can’t.” 

Emma nodded, she knew it was so dangerous for Regina to go with her, the evil queen was there and now with the new portals, if she stayed longer than 24 hours Regina would turn back into her former self, meaning she would become the Evil Queen again. Gold did something to the portals, making it harder to portal hop. Which was a lost cause from the start. 

Regina made two magic beans appear in her palm and gave them both to Emma. “Find the book and come back to me, I promise I won’t do anything to myself whilst you’re gone, I promise.” 

“Regina...” 

Regina pushed her lips hard onto Emma’s wrapping her arms over her shoulders and holding her close, moving her lips slowly in rhythm with her blonde wife, before pulling apart and squeezing a magic bean in Regina’s hand that she had been hiding and she threw it to the ground, where a portal opened. Regina knew Emma wouldn’t do it alone, so she had to do it for her.

In the next moment, before Emma got a chance to say anything, Regina’s hand was around her arm, throwing her into the portal and then the portal closed. 

Regina let out a long sigh, as the tears ran lightly down her face and she whispered “I’m sorry Emma, I’m sorry.” 

“Sis?” Zelena appeared where the portal had previously been and she helped Regina to her feet “I saw the purple cloud above your vault and wanted to make sure you weren’t hurt.” 

“I had to push Emma into the portal, so she could go and retrieve mother's spell book.” 

“But that’s in the enchanted forest.” 

“I’m well aware.” 

“Regina, what’s going on?” Zelena frowned. 

“Okay, so Cora is back, she has put a spell on Emma’s Mom and they attacked me and it’s the spell Zelena.” 

“Not the one that – no, the devil himself wouldn’t even cast?” 

“That’s the one.” 

“Emma better get that book. Does she know how dire the situation is?” 

Regina chuckled sarcastically “You’re kidding right? No. Are you going to tell Belle?” 

“No way! She’d have a fucking fit right in front of me.” 

Regina smiled at her sister, before hugging her “I’m happy to have you in my life again Z, we have got to stick together until Emma gets back, we have to protect ourselves .” 

Zelena just nodded. They both knew that without that book everyone was in danger, especially with Cora playing the devil. 

* * *

Emma screamed as she fell through the portal and then hit the forest ground with a thump. 

“Ouchhh...” Emma groaned, rubbing her head and sitting up, her jeans ripped and face cut a little. Emma looked around as she got to her feet “Regina, I'm going to fucking kill you.” 

Emma quickly climbed a tree, hiding in the branches as she heard a carriage coming along the path and into the village, she’d landed herself in, she couldn’t see who got out but the voice was oh too familiar to herself. 

“If you are protecting Snow White, then you too shall die... Now tell me, where is she?!... I will find her, with your help or not, but if not then you’ll die painfully and slowly however if you help me, you’ll die quickly.” The Evil Queen spoke darkly. 


	14. Plan B

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina sends Emma through a portal, she needs to find the spell book before Cora turns Regina to the darkness or hurts Regina.
> 
> Lucky for Emma she has some help.
> 
> Plan B.

_ That woman will be the death of me I swear to god. _

Emma held tight to the branch as she watched over the enchanted forest, watching Regina - The Evil Queen threaten the villagers and seeing in this moment how much pain she was in, but she knew she couldn’t go up to her. 

If Emma spoke to the evil queen, there’s a chance she would recognise her in the future when Emma first got to Storybrooke, she couldn’t take the chance. After all she had been here before and almost screwed up their future. 

“YOU KNOW WHERE SHE IS!” Emma watched as The Evil Queen tore out a woman's heart and crushed it, the woman dropped dead. “Now I will ask again...”

Emma quickly climbed down the tree without falling or breaking any bones. “I need clothing - shit - oh I can’t risk using magic -” Emma saw some clothing drying out. She quickly ran over to them and changed out of her modern day clothing behind a tree and she put on the new clothes.

_ Where did she say this stupid book was? Oh yeah right over - _

Emma suddenly realised that the very thing she needed was in the Queen's castle “Oh shit!” Emma swore as she kicked a tree “Regina I hate you, honest to god.”  Emma saw the queen look her way and she quickly ducked behind a tree, she was lucky, she couldn't go through that one again, of getting caught by The Evil Queen.

* * *

“Why would I listen to anything the evil queen and the wicked witch say?” David asked.

Belle had gone to retrieve David and Regina had gone to retrieve Gold and Zelena was meeting them all at the water's front.

“Because they have information about Snow.”

“Did they take her?!”

“No. Just come with me please David.” Belle asked nicely but firmly.

David, a little disgruntled and with a bit more persuading, agreed. 

He followed Belle to the harbour front, where Regina, Zelena and Gold were waiting.  Belle smiled “He agreed but he said he doesn’t want to be pinned down again -”

“Pinned down?” Regina frowned.

“I am small but mighty Regina...just ask your sister..”

“I…I’d rather not.” Regina screwed up her face.

“So Regina why have you bought us all here?” Gold asked.

“Because something has happened to Sno -”

David jumped in “You don’t care about my wife! Why would you concern yourself with the situation, You probably got rid of her like you always wanted -”

“Now tell me Charming, why would I do that? She is still Emma's mother and I love Emma even if you think it’s okay to not speak to her for 2 years.”

“TWO YEARS?!” Belle exclaimed.

“Let's get to the point at hand shall we?” Zelena suggested “Snow White has been taken hostage by Cora -”

“Not your mother Cora?” Gold asked quickly.

“The very same.” Regina and Zelena said in unison.

“She is using Snow’s heart to control her and also a sort of curse…”

Regina was trying not to say exactly what it was, because Gold might actually kill her for the fact it was in her vault.

“What. curse. Regina?” Gold growled.

“ Diabolus ipsum”

“But Regina…” Belle began “That translates to ‘The devil himself’ in latin.”

“I know, when the name of the spell was put together, they said they chose that name for the very fact that -”

“You wouldn’t wish it on The devil himself.” Gold growled. “How has Cora got a hold of that?”

“It was maybe in my vault.”

Gold grabbed Regina pushing her against the nearest wall, holding her with his hands around her throat.

“GOLD!” Belle and Zelena shouted, quickly pulling him off her.

Regina fell to her knees coughing and spluttering, Zelena rushed over, helping her sister to stand “Are you okay?”

“Yes, Regina are you okay? God forbid you’re not okay when we have to stop your enemy from torturing and killing everyone slowly.” gold snapped.

“We are well aware of the situation.” Belle said with force.

“We need your mother's spell book.”

“I have sent Emma off to get it, she is the only one who I have allowed to be able to find it… she’s gone through a portal to the Enchanted forest...again.”

“So she has a second chance of destroying everything.” Gold said.

“Hey! My daughter isn’t the one to blame here. She is.” David said before scowling at Regina.

Regina frowned looking around at everyone “Whoa, this isn’t my fault -”

“WILL EVERYONE SHUT UP BEFORE I TURN MY WICKED ASS ON YOU ALL!” Zelena shouted, making everyone who was talking, stop.

“Thank you Zelena, now listen to me, Snow and My - our mother…” Regina said as she looked at Zelena “attacked me last night, I could have died and if Emma doesn’t get the spell book, then we’re all going to die.”

“Well that’s a cherry on the top, isn’t it? Our hopes all rely on the dimwit who has only just learnt how to control her magic.” Gold growled.

“What spell book is this?” A familiar voice came from behind Regina and Zelena. “I should have killed you really Regina… Do they all know about your secret?”

“No…”

“Regina? That’s a little unfortunate then isn’t it, because I do.” Cora smirked.

“Go ahead tell them, tell the whole of Storybrooke for all I care, I will stop you from hurting Snow.”

“But don’t you see Regina?”

“See what?” Regina frowned.

“I’m doing all of this… for you.”

* * *

“Regina gave you a job to do Swan, now do it.” Emma told herself, as she peered round to see if she could get away without the evil queen spotting her.

The queen was occupied with ripping out another heart so Emma made a run for it away from the evil version of her wife. Emma put her hood up on the cloak she was now wearing, (and thanks to Regina for her horse riding lessons) Emma found a horse on a nearby farm and jumped on, riding as fast as she could towards the castle.

Whatever Cora was doing to Snow White, it wasn’t good.

Emma hopped off the horse before she reached the castle, she had to sneak in, there was no ball this time, no Rumple, she had to do this alone.

_ “Regina… what am I meant to do?”  _ Emma muttered under her breath.

“Emma?” a voice behind her said.

Emma turned around to see Ruby “Ruby?” unsure if this was real or not.

Ruby stood there in her little red cloak, hood up and wearing jeans and a t-shirt “It’s me. Regina sent me through another portal -”

“Ruby, not trying to be rude but how do I know you're not Cora in disguise?”

“Fair enough… ask me something… something that only I would know?”

Emma thought for a minute “What do I always carry around with me in my pocket”

Ruby smiled “A picture of Henry and a Picture of Regina, and you also have a locket with the three of you in… oh wait and a bear claw for emergencies”

Emma smiled as she threw her arms around Ruby.

“Come on, what do you need to find anyway?” Ruby asked.

“A book, Regina’s mother's spell book.”

“Let’s go, I know a secret way in…” Ruby said as she held Emma’s hand walking them up the path and then onto the field and going underground.

“Ruby -”

“This is how Snow always got in without being seen, she’d be proud of you for doing this.”

“Don’t Ruby, I’m still angry at her - she didn’t speak to me for two years just because I’m with Regina.”

“She told me it was two months…” Ruby gasped, horrified at Snow’s actions “Wait, Emma, how long has Cora been in Storybrooke.”

“Just over two...years. Oh god… she has her heart...do you think she has my Dad’s heart too?”

“I don’t know but let’s find this book.” Ruby said as they reached the end of the tunnel that went under the castle. “Where is it?”

“Umm where the balls are held.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah…”

“Right, okay… let’s do this, I can get you in and I’ll give you the secret signal if any guards are coming.”

* * *

“You’re doing this for me?” Regina questioned “How? How? Is any of this for me?”

“Reach into Charming's chest, get his heart. Or are you too  **_weak_ ** _?” _

"I’m not WEAK!” Regina shouted, turning to David grabbing him by his throat and reaching in and pulling out...nothing.

“Nothing’s there?” Regina turned back to her mother “What’s going on?”

“I have his heart too.”

Regina was trying so hard to fight the evil inside her, but it was too strong. Emma wasn’t here to help her, but Zelena was. Emma gave Zelena ‘custody’ to help Regina, whatever that took, if she was in any trouble.

Regina glared round at David “You hear that charming? My mother has your heart?”

“Regina?” Zelena frowned, placing a hand on Regina’s shoulder, seeing their mothers control starting to take an affect on her sister “Regina this explains why he wouldn’t except you -”

“Shut it greenie! Or you’ll be next.”

“Mother what have you done!?” Zelena snapped at Cora.

“Regina could never say no to the darkness, you however will seem to be harder to control.”

Zelena frowned looking from her Mother to Belle and whispered in her girlfriend's ear so her mother wouldn’t hear “Plan B needs to be set into motion.”

Belle nodded kissing Zelena before running away from them all.

“Where’s the bookworm going?” Cora asked.

“None of your business!”

The fact was Zelena put a plan into motion with Belle and Ruby too, making sure if anything bad was happening if Regina was being lured by her mother or the darkness they would get a message to both Ruby and Emma and that’s where Belle was sending a bird through a portal with a message for Emma.

* * *

“Wait…” Ruby grabbed Emma’s arm, feeling something behind them. Ruby and Emma turned on their heels seeing a blackbird flying towards them and landing on Ruby’s shoulder.

“Look, it has something in its mouth” Emma frowned.

“Well take it then.”

“What if it bites me?”

“Oh for goodness sake…” Ruby shook her head, reached up and took the parchment out the bird's mouth. 

Ruby unrolled the first bit of the parchment and saw Emma’s name, she looked at her friend passing the paper to her “It’s for you.”

Emma frowned, opening it up and reading.

_ Mrs. Emma Swan-Mills,  _

_ I hope this letter finds you well.  _

_ Things here are dyer, Cora’s control is having an effect on your wife, her hold on Regina is becoming unbreakable.  _

_ She has your Dad’s heart too, she made Regina try and take it, but when she came up empty, Cora told her she had both their hearts. Regina is trying to fight, but her mother’s hold is too strong. _

_ She keeps telling Regina how weak she is and using everything Regina hates about herself against her. _

_ Cora wants Zelena too. _

_ Hurry back. _

_ All my love _

_ \- Plan B _

  
  


“Plan B? Who’s plan B?” Emma frowned.

“Oh god, that’s Belle. We came up with Plan B, in case Cora had pulled Regina into the darkness. We need to get the book now Emma.

By some miracle Emma was in and out of the castle in 10 minutes, she found the book underneath the throne, but now they needed to get back.

“Ruby, how do we get back? We need a bean.”

“Good job, I came with 2 in my pocket then.”

“Two?”

“Just in case we somehow lost the first one.”

Emma just laughed before she pulled Ruby out from the tunnels, and ran away from the castle as fast as they could and into the enchanted forest.

“Ready?” 

“Ready?”

“Ready!”

“Ready!”

Ruby threw the bean, seeing it open up the swirling portal, she grabbed Emma’s hand and they both fell with a thump, right in front of Belle.

“Emma! Ruby! Thank god!” The relief flushed over Belle showed Emma how seriously bad the situation was currently.

“I have the book... Where is my wife Belle?”

“I don’t know… after I sent the letter, I went back to the group and Regina, Cora and David were all gone, Zelena said they just vanished. She’s doing a locator spell at the moment or attempting to. Come on.” Belle fired off, before leading them to Granny’s where Zelena was indeed trying to do a locator spell.

Emma and Belle and Ruby walked over to Grannys. Ruby started work with her Granny whilst Belle and Emma went over to the red headed woman who was doing a spell, or trying to.

“Zelena.” Emma said walking in.

“Emma, I’m so sorry, I tried. But… Cora’s hold is too strong…”

“It’s okay, we’ll get her back.”

“Why is this not working!”

Emma frowned, looking at the scarf “Wait, that’s mine, that’s why it’s not working Zelena. I’ll go back to the mansion and get something -”

“No wait, we don’t have time - give me your hand, do you have a photo of Regina?”

“Yeah” Emma pulled out the photo of her wife, while Zelena took and kept ahold of Emma’s hand.

“Great.” Zelena put the photo down on the table, she magically appeared a fine needle in her hand.

“Zelena, what are yo -”

Zelena pricked Emma’s finger, squeezing the blood onto the photo.

“What is it with you Mills sisters and doing that shit.”

Zelena chuckled “This is a true love locator spell. Your blood is the only one that will find her.”

Soon enough the photo lifted up zooming out the door “Come on.” Emma shouted at Zelena and Belle who both followed Emma who was following the photo.

Emma ran following until they realised where it was they were going, a building by the water, it was covered by a dark red cloud.

“Cora.” The three of them said in unison, looking at the building.

“I need to get in there!” Emma said as she lurched forwards before both Zelena and Belle pulled her back.

“Emma, we have to be careful, we can’t just go charging in. Cora is on another level of evil. She wants me to join her, which means I can’t go in.”

“What?” Belle asked.

“I can feel it. There’s dark magic surrounding that place calling my name, if I go in I don’t know if I’d come out the same person again. You two have to go on without me. I’m going to try and fight the magic from out here. Just get my sister out. I don’t know what Cora is up to, but she could have lied to Regina, she could be forcing her and convincing her to do anything and we both know Emma, that when she comes out of it, when Regina is back to herself she will never forgive herself.”

Emma knew Zelena was right. Looking over at Belle she nodded “Lets get my wife back and save my parents.”

Belle and Zelena kissed each other hard, fiercely, not wanting to stop, but they had to.

Soon enough Belle and Emma were standing in front of the door to the building. Emma quietly wrapped her hand around the door handle, opening the door pulling Belle in. Emma grabbed the photo that was now just hovering in front of them and shoved it nicely into her back pocket.

Suddenly they heard voices, loud voices, crying too, screams.

“You’re weak Regina! Do it! Or you know what will happen if you don’t..” Cora’s voice was cold.

Emma and Belle stood to the side of the door, where they couldn’t be seen, just listening.

“But -”

Cora grabbed her daughter throwing her against the wall “I said do it.”

“Emma will never forgive me!” Regina cried.

Emma could hear the fear in her wife's voice.

“But she’s not here is she?”

“No… but -”

“ who is it going to be?”

Emma heard the sound of Regina’s hand going into a chest and pulling out a thumping heart. Emma couldn’t wait a moment longer, she burst into the room with Belle next to her, “Regina! Please don’t do it!”

“Emma?” Regina frowned.

“I got the book Regina, you don’t have to do this.” Emma pleaded, seeing her parents on the cold floor, tied up, but wait there was a man at the other end of the room, standing by the ECT machine.

“Emma, she thinks I’m weak, that I can’t do this! You think so too!” Regina cried.

“No, baby, no I don’t…” Emma took a step forward, but stopped quickly.

“Don’t come any closer or I will do it, I’ll crush his heart.”

“No you won’t, you love me too much to do that -”

“As I always said Regina, Love is weakness.” Cora spoke, snarling into Regina’s ear, before she threw her hand out, throwing Belle and Emma against the wall and knocking her unconscious.

“EMMA!” Regina cried. “You know what mother? Do it. I’m not killing her parents, she believes in me, and that’s enough.” Regina pushed the heart back into David’s chest.

“As you wish - Greg… if you would do the honours.”

The man who had been standing at the other end of the room came over grabbing Regina and picking her up from around the waist “No...No… MOTHER PLEASE! DON’T LET HIM DO THIS TO ME! I CAN’T FIGHT HIM, YOU’VE BLOCKED MY MAGIC, MOTHER PLEASE!” Regina screamed.

Greg threw Regina down onto the only bed in the room, a hardened hospital bed, he tied Regina down, pulling the ECT machine closer, and adding the electrodes to Regina’s head and arms.

“Emma…” Regina whispered “Please wake up… please…”

Greg came and stood over Regina “Where is he?”

“I told you he left town!”

“No, no you see if that was the case he would have done everything to find me, his only son, but he never did, so…” Greg turned on the machine, hovering his finger over a big red button “I’ll ask you again, where is he?”

“I can’t tell you something I don’t know.”

Regina’s whole body began to  convulse, pain shooting throughout her body, and Regina was screaming at the top of her lungs.

At this point Emma began to come round, she slowly stood up and tried to push herself forward over to Regina but Cora grabbed her holding her with her arms wrapped tightly around her “I don’t think so dear…”

“Why are you doing this? She’s your daughter Cora!”

“She’s no daughter of mine, if she was she wouldn’t be so weak.” Cora paused looking up at the man “Mendle, what are you waiting for?”

“Answers.”

Regina got her breath back slightly “I already told you -”

“Yes you told me that my father had gone after me, that you let him go, but you see Regina, I don’t believe you.”

“You see dear little Emma, you’re going to watch this, you’re going to see how easy it is to make Regina beg for her life.” Cora smirked.

However, Emma knew something Cora didn’t. Regina would never beg for her life. “She won’t do it you know.” Emma replied, sadness lacing her voice.

“Emma please turn away, don’t watch… please...” Regina whispered, looking at her wife, her eyes filled with grief.

“No, she won’t be looking anywhere else but at you.” Cora said as she held Emma’s face in place.

Amongst all the chaos, no one had seen that Belle had woken up and had untied Snow and Charming, the 3 of them had escaped. 

  
  


“So I’ll ask you again your majesty, where is he?” Greg was determined to have his answers.

“You’ll have to kill me before I tell you that.”

“So you do know? YOU KNOW WHERE HE IS?”

And again Greg pushed the button, for longer this time and upping the voltage, Regina’s body convulsed, she screamed, shattering the windows and glass in the doors, pushing back her tears. The pain was unbearable.

“REGINA! JUST TELL HIM...please!” Emma begged.

After the longest 3 minutes of Emma’s life, being forced to watch Regina’s body convulsing, Greg turned it off.

Regina looked over at Emma and then to her Mother “You think I’m going to beg for my life mother? You’re wrong I’ve almost died 5 times in the last 2 years at my own hands, you really think someone else -”

Before Regina could finish what she was saying, Greg pressed the button again and Regina’s body was forced into another muscle spasm, but she was a fighter, but it was excruciatingly painful. “ARGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!”

“STOP IT PLEASE JUST STOP IT!” Emma begged, trying to wriggle out of Cora’s grip, but it was no use.

“Emma, if I don’t make it, remember that I love you, you're the love of my life... and tell Henry, tell our son everyday that I loved him.” Regina eyes were shinning with her tears, that she had managed to stop from falling.

“Regina stop, you’re going to make it, just hold on, just for a little bit longer.” Emma smiled softly, you see Emma had noticed her parents and Belle were no longer in the room, so she knew Zelena would be here soon.

Greg growled “You see I don’t mind killing you Regina.” and again, and again and again Greg pressed the button making Regina’s body weaker by the minute, Regina could barely speak, Emma could see her tears falling and she couldn’t do anything to stop him hurting her wife, the woman she loved and wanted to protect, she couldn't do it.

“STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT! PLEASE, YOU’RE KILLING HER, YOU’RE KILLING MY WI...wife…” Emma screamed.

Greg turned to Regina “tell me where my father is…”

Regina went from looking at Greg to looking at the ceiling but stayed silent the whole time, as Emma cries broke her heart.

“REGINA SWAN-MILLS! JUST TELL HIM! YOU IDIOT… Regina I know you’re scared, scared that I won’t be able to forgive you, that we won’t be able to move past it. I’ve seen you in the flesh as the evil queen twice now, you’re not her anymore. Please…”

Regina heard Emma’s words for what they were. Emma knew her wife better than she knew herself.

“Out of time Regina...” Greg turned to back to the machine, his thumb a second away from hitting the button 

“Wait -” Regina croaked.

Emma felt a flood of relief flow through her body.

Greg paused, turning back to Regina “Where is he?”

Regina’s lips curved upwards into a nasty grin “...Dead… I killed him… the minute you ran away.”

“No… No, you’re lying to me!”

“She’s told you the truth now leave her alone!” Emma cried.

“NO! She’s lying!” Greg snapped looking at the brunette, who was now trembling.

Regina sniggered weakly “Don’t believe me? Go see for yourself, I buried his body at your campsite, I doubt he receives many visitors there. Now go ahead and kill me, I just wanted to see the look on your face when I-”

Regina wasn’t able to finish the sentence before Greg upped the voltage quickly and pressed the button holding it down.

Regina’s body convulsed again, she wouldn't survive this time if he held it down for much longer.

“NO! REGINA!” Emma cried, finally she found the strength, her magic. Emma’s magic pushed Cora back against the wall, knocking her out, Emma quickly ran to Greg punching his lights out. 

“No one hurts my wife and gets away with it.”

Emma turned back to Regina, the Mayors face was red sore down both sides, her eyes were swollen and she was out cold.

“Regina?” Emma said quietly, feeling a punch to her gut, was she alive? Was she dead?

“EMMA I’M HERE!” Zelena came in shouting with Belle in toe.

“Too late Zelena.


End file.
